Tag Archive | "guantanamo bay"

Gitmo Vs Justice


This is my response to the following article about 5 alleged 9/11 masterminds, who have been held at Gitmo since 2002 still in pre-trial hearings:
https://www.hrw.org/news/2016/07/26/dispatches-guantanamo-9/11-case-staggers

No doubt due in large part to lack of mainstream media attention of ongoing Guantanamo proceedings, many Americans today believe the perpetrators of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attack all perished on that day. People are unaware of the fact that the US government has detained five men with alleged connection, at least one of whom is deemed to be a “mastermind.”

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Posted in Serious Commentary, War ZoneComments (1)

“Yucky World” with Dick and Janey: Obamymorons (They’re not what you think)


Announcer: Today’s guest on “Yucky World” will be noted political consultant and lexicologist W.C. “Scoop” Pooper. He will be discussing a new political term, Obamymoron, with our talk show hosts Dick and Janey.

Janey: Welcome, Scoop.

Dick: Hey, what’s the latest poop, Scoop? Yuck! Yuck! Yuck!

Scoop: Well, President Obama has finally stepped in it this time with the Sergeant Bergdahl trade!

Dick: I’m not surprised. That’s what happens when you lead with your bee-hind.

Janey: Please, Dick! What’s an Obamymoron, Scoop?

Scoop: It’s when people realize that what you said or did contradicts reality.

Dick: Like Bergdahl was so near death that the President didn’t have time to consult Congress?

Scoop: Right!

Dick: Then “If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor” would also be an Obamymoron?

Scoop: Absolutely! But it doesn’t have to be something President Obama said or did.

Janey: How about “Read my lips! No new taxes”?

Scoop: Exactly! Obamymorons can be bi-partisan!

Dick: What about Susan Rice saying Bergdahl was “captured on the battlefield” and “served the United States with honor and distinction”?

Scoop: That’s a double Obamymoron. Those are hard to do!

Dick: Not for Rice. Don’t forget her Obamymoron that the attack in Benghazi started out as a protest over a video.

Janey: I’m a little concerned that some people might think the term Obamymoron is racist.

Scoop: You know, it’s really just a play on the word oxymoron, like “jumbo shrimp”. Obamymorons are very similar to oxymorons; they both have built-in contradictions!

Dick: And no one’s ever said that using the term oxymoron meant a person was prejudiced against oxen.

Janey: Ri-i-ght, Dick. But why pick on Obama?

Scoop: Because he’s so easy. Remember when Obama said he was against presidential signing statements being attached to bills and that his administration would be the most transparent ever?

Dick: Obamymorons!

Janey: But sometimes reality is different from what you expected.

Scoop: Yeah! And when reality gets in the way of transparency, and Bush can’t be blamed, you can always crash Lois Lerner’s IRS computer!

Dick: Look at the President’s goal of equal pay for men and women. The problem was, for Obama’s White House staff, women only earned 88% of what men did!

Scoop: Obamymoron!

Dick: How about “I did not have sexual relations with that woman Monica Lewinsky”?

Scoop: Doink! That’s not an Obamymoron!

Dick: Doink! Huh?

Janey: Clinton had sex with her, Dick, not sexual relations.

Dick: I’m confused.

Janey: About sex? I’m not surprised.

Scoop: Clinton was being a lawyer and parsing words.

Janey: Speaking of parsing words, our sponsors have just sent us an email indicating that they would like to have an Obamymoron contest.

Dick: Just email your Obamymorons to us here at the station.

Scoop: Will there be prizes?

Dick: Everyone who enters is guaranteed a free IRS audit!

Scoop: What about special prizes for the best responses?

Janey: For second place, your audit will be conducted in the Rose Garden.

Dick: And you will get a free beer compliments of the President.

Scoop: I’m afraid to ask what first place wins.

Dick: A one week all expenses paid vacation to Qatar where you will stay with the Taliban Five at their safe house.

Janey: Wouldn’t a Taliban safe house be a…

Scoop: Yes! …An oxymoronic Obamymoron!!

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President Obama Orchestrates Worst Trade in History of Trades


Washington, D.C. – Most people consider the Boston Red Sox trade of future baseball god Babe Ruth for a cash loan to finance the No, No, Nanette musical to be the worst trade of all time. But No, No, Nanette, we have a new winner.

Over the weekend, President Obama approved the trade of a captured war deserter who may have become radicalized by our enemy in exchange for five known, high-ranking terrorists so they can get back on the battlefield again. Read the full story

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Fifteen Things That Turned Obama’s Hair Grey


There are many factors within the fray,
that have turned our Presidents hair to grey.
Pundits, done-thats and patriots galore
seek to sabotage him evermore…

These are the things that have turned our fearless leader’s head from black to grey in only five short years:

15 – Having Military Generals whisper to him that ‘they would do a Kennedy’ on him if he so much as tried to close Guantanamo Bay. Read the full story

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Romney Goes Economy, Obama Fires Gun in Final Election Pitch


GlossyNews.comYOUNGSTOWN, OH and NASHUA, NH – Both United States Presidential Candidates made one last pitch to the American people before Election Day though in pretty shocking and pretty shockingly different ways.

Winding down a vicious election cycle, Former Governor Mitt Romney (R-MA) spent his day crisscrossing the all-important battleground states of Pennsylvania and Ohio, speaking about his vision for a stronger economy; while incumbent President Barack Obama (D) personally executed a detainee from the Guantanamo Bay prison on live television from New Hampshire to show his resolve on national defense. Read the full story

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Released from Gitmo, Right Back to Terrorism


Usually reclusive Rock phenomenon Faisal X spoke to reporters this week about stardom, musical influences and career goals.

“My roots; middle class upbringing in Jordan. Studying engineering in France when I got radicalized. Next thing I’m lugging ammo boxes over Afghan mountains, asking myself ‘Youssef, why don’t these idiots do jihad somewhere with roads?’ Just kidding, I love my brothers. Death to America, and I mean that sincerely.” Read the full story

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Big Brother Builds Armpit Sniffer


A hi-technology device that can detect human fear through the medium of ‘smelling’ it is being developed by British scientists and could soon be sniffing out the body odours of anxious terrorists – or shoplifters, welfare benefit cheats, the chronically paranoid – or simply someone who has been taken short with a dose of stomach cramps after last night’s iffy curry and crapped in their pants. Read the full story

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