Ayatollah Khamenei Offers Citizenship and Villas to Boebert and Greene

Tehran, Iran (Al Jazeera). In an unusual bid to appease and distract protestors, particularly young Iranian females, who have taken to the streets to mourn the death of Masha Amini (a young woman who was arrested last week and who died in the custody of the morality police) Ayatollah Khamenei has announced he has offered Reps. Lauren Boebert (R-WY) and Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) citizenship in Iran along with luxury, grace and favor villas on Kish Island. Apparently, reading a recent story by Lincoln Project co-founder Rick Wilson that Boebert and other Christian Nationalists (ie, MTG) would be most happy in a country like Iran where religion certainly “trumps” democracy and should certainly consider moving there. 
When queried if Boebert and Greene would be effective role models for Iranian women and whether they were actually aware that they would have to convert to Islam and give up their weapons to qualify for Ayatollah Khamenei’s proposal, government spokesman Ibn al Hashishi replied, “you know … المرأة لديها نصف دماغ*    so they will accede to anything our supremely beloved leader requires. When asked to comment Boebert said, “…look as long as I don’t have to marry the old perv, I will definitely consider the offer…hell, even then I might go for it. Who knows maybe I could get him to convert to Christian Nationalism! This, could definitely be a win-win situation.” Greene’s office did not respond.

*Translation: Women have half a brain.

Author: Lew Tuck

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