Tag Archive | "god’s plan"

Texas GOP Passes Bill Forcing Men to Have Pre-Vasectomy Sonograms


In a surprising upset for gender equality groups, the Texas GOP passed a bill requiring men to have sonograms prior to receiving vasectomies.

This includes a three-day waiting period before going through with this “unGodly” procedure of “tearing asunder what God joined together [at birth,]” specifically one’s nutsack, according to head of the Texas GOP Chief Biblical Scholar Chick “Goober” Pease. Read the full story

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God Privately Admits He Doesn’t Have Plan for Disabled Boy


HEAVEN – Speaking off-the-record Friday, the Lord God privately admitted that he did not have a concrete plan for local disabled boy Dwight Bowers, who was born paralyzed from the waist down.

Even though the excitable 6-year-old is routinely assured by his parents Kathryn and Edward that God is watching over him, The Almighty Father indicated that He has given “next-to-no-thought” as to the boy’s future. Read the full story

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