CARVILLE, Louisiana (GlossyNews) —

Posted by your South America (and also Caribbean) correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez.

We didn’t know, so we checked around. Nobody else knew either. And I’m talking smart people here? Geraldo Rivera, the internationally respected dean of semi-Latino journalists, he didn’t know.

We figured he might be messing with us, so we contacted that Nina Totebag woman from NPR? She didn’t know either. Switzerland has an Ambassador to the Bahamas! Read the full story

ANTOFAGASTA, Chile (GlossyNewsSA) — Posted by your South America correspondents, Maria and Consuela Lopez.

OK, when that little boy climbed Everest, we thought it was sweet. He was with his Poppy, and there’s a mob of helpers and guides on those trips. I’m not discounting the achievement in any way, but you have to admit? Getting rich people to the top of Everest is about the only cash business in Nepal. Give those Sherpas $20K, they’ll carry you to the summit piggy back. I’m not saying anything we don’t all know, right?

But this dumb broad who has herself stranded in the Indian Ocean, that’s totally different. I’ll tell you one thing? That chica is lucky Maria and Consuela Lopez aren’t on the rescue fleet headed her way. We’d jerk her bald headed. Read the full story

Cambridge, England – Acting on an anonymous tip, British police raided well-known physicist, Stephen Hawking’s basement, where it is reported that they found some incredible historical artifacts from various periods in history. Included with the artifacts was an urn which held the salty remains of Lot’s wife from Biblical times.

“It was unbelievable,” said one constable. “I mean, Lot’s wife, blimey, that’s almost the most amazing thing I think I’ve ever seen.” Read the full story

Tonopah, NV Reuters — Humor news media titan Glossy News has won the Pulitzer in this year’s newly added “Best exploitation of a disaster” category. The committee cited GNN’s round the clock coverage from earthquake ravaged Hawaii. Media watchers were generally positive on the announcement, while acknowledging the race was always ‘too close to call.’

Washington Post’s Howard Kurtz said, “Exploiting disasters for higher ratings, well it’s our bread & butter, right? Privately I thought Geraldo had the edge for his Tiger Woods coverage. I mean, Geraldo is a disaster all by himself, so there was always chance for a double win. But there’s always next year.” Read the full story