MBS Claims Other Leaders Are ‘Racist Hypocrites’ As He Flees From G20 Summit

Buenos Aires, Argentina- Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman (MBS) lashed out at world leaders, calling out Argentina and the US in particular, as he boarded a plane for Saudi Arabia at the conclusion of the G20 Summit on Sunday.  MBS’ Boeing 767 took flight just ahead of Argentinian authorities who were in pursuit, armed with arrest warrants accusing the Prince of human rights violations.

“Those who decided not to engage this weekend are hypocrites for giving me the snub,” MBS shouted from the steps of his waiting plane. “They act like their countries have never fouled up an assassination before. I’m sorry that we botched the cover up, but we’re not the first ones to do this.  If I’d have been a white European leader, this whole thing would have been a nonstarter.  Remember, he (Khashoggi) was a Saudi, too! See the double standard? It’s racist.”

“The Argentinian Authorities are the biggest bigots of them all.  We’re not even the worst human rights violators who attended this summit,” he shouted pointing down the tarmac towards the oncoming police vehicles.  “Yet the only warrants issued, are for a Muslim leader. I find this very strange. Take a look around. We all have traditions founded in murder and genocide, all twenty of us. Look at the Americans!”

“They’ve slaughtered entire groups of people in their history, and they openly celebrate it to this very day. Did you know the professional football team from Washington DC is nicknamed the Redskins? They have a game today I believe. Do you know what a Redskin is? It was a term used to describe the “pelt” taken from Native American warriors, killed by American soldiers in battle.”

“Many battalions would compensate soldiers for every ‘Redskin’ they brought back from the battlefield. It’s not like we’re calling our professional soccer teams The Jamal Khashoggi’s, or The Ruthless Assassin’s, and rubbing it in.”

“We have attempted to be respectful throughout this process, and we are sorry that our internal issues have bled out on the world stage. We are ready to move on from this unfortunate event, and want the rest of the world to know that we have learned our lesson, and we will not do it again. Please remember that we are still willing to deal, and we will remain open for business!”

The Prince waved to reporters as he ducked onto the plane.  He could still be seen waving from the rearmost window seat as he sped down the runway to freedom.  Argentinian police were visibly upset as they stood at the base of the staircase, their guns drawn and warrants in hand.

Author: Fort Nag

Ft. Nag is a poet and speculative satirist who lives in Sacramento, CA. "Real News and Fake News have become interchangeable in our world today. This probably won't help. Sorry."