Tag Archive | "exit polls"

Ruh Ro: Romney Concedes Florida Let the Dogs Out


GlossyNews.com – TALLAHASSEE — Mitt Romney conceded Florida early election night, roof-racked by a story he could not shake.

Animal activists nationwide hounded Romney the length of the campaign for strapping Seamus, the family dog to the roof of the car during a 12-hour trip to Canada… or Arizona, wherever it was he went. Read the full story

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Empty Chair Posts Strong Showing In Early Voting


GlossyNews.com – This election year has seen a surge in early voting as more and more states allow for this convenient option, while others have restricted the hell out of it.

Both the Obama and Romney camps had hoped that early voting would give them an edge. Much to everyone’s surprise, however, exit polls show that the early leader in pre-election balloting is the empty chair from the Republican National Convention. Read the full story

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GA Exit Polls Show Honey Boo Boo Leading Twinkies


GlossyNews.com – GEORGIA – Exit polls conducted throughout the state of Georgia are showing reality TV starlet and shaved Gremlin Honey Boo Boo holding a slight lead over the well known snack Twinkies in the race for the White House.

Asked how something like this could happen, state election officials said that Georgia voters simply ignored all of the options on the ballot and wrote in either Honey Boo Boo, Twinkies, or Gary Johnson. Read the full story

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Jesus Imaginary Christ: Snake Worshipers for Romney


GlossyNews.com – LEXINGTON — Appalachian state exit polls reflect 47% of snake worshipers scribbled an “X” for Romney while others claimed disenfranchisement of their right to vote.

Election Protection logged a number of phone reports claiming a Kentucky polling place denied entry to registered voters carrying snakes. Read the full story

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Florida Breaks Early for Pat Buchanan


GlossyNews.com – The “Sunshine State” has been largely contested this election, with both Mitt Romney and Barack Obama leading at various times, but today’s exit polls suggest one clear winner: Pat Buchanan.

Buchanan was reached at his Virginia home early this morning, where he said, “Who is this? Why are you calling me. Do you know what time it is?” Read the full story

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