ROSWELL, New Mexico (GlossyNews) –

The Intergalactic Play Nice Force has decided to abandon Earth operations, so said District Superintendent Greg Gort today.

“The IPNF really has no interest here anymore. It’s a wind-down, could take three Earth years at the outside. Bureaucracy is a constant in the Universe. We’ll run the funding out on the Venus base, and besides, I’ve got staff members who are only flreg parsecs from full retirement. Read the full story