EXTON, PA – A seventy-two-year-old man set fire to his apartment in the Sunrise Acres retirement facility last night after he had tried to light a candle but ignited the drapes instead. Gerald DeHaven told police he had taken Viagra about an hour before accidentally starting the blaze that destroyed the drapes and a futon in his apartment and forced the evacuation of the 525-member facility. Read the full story

Dear Hank,

I’m an 87 year old widower. I’ve just been told I’m terminally ill, with only six months left. I would like to party with 20-year-old blonde hardbodies in the time I have left, but there aren’t any in my nursing home and I’m a quadriplegic confined to my wheelchair. What are my options? Read the full story