Tag Archive | "Ebola"

Ebola Nurses Going on Tour


Dallas, TX-As part of an initiative to educate the public about the dangers of Ebola, 5 of the nurses who have been treating Ebola victims in Dallas are going to be embarking on a 45 day and 3 hour tour.

“This will not be just a tour, but really a great way to educate the public about this terrible disease and hopefully prevent it from spreading further,” said Juanita Rose Erikson, one of the nurses who has treated several of the Ebola patients in a Dallas hospital. Read the full story

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ISIS Blows Up U.S. Battleships Maine and Lusitania in the Gulf of Tonkin


WASHINGTON – The Pentagon announced today that the Islamic State (ISIS) has blown up two American battleships, the Maine and the Lusitania in the Gulf of Tonkin.

Brigadier General Lance Boyle stated: “ISIS was very foolhardy in using weapons of mass destruction to blow up two American battleships that were peacefully passing through the Gulf of Tonkin on separate humanitarian missions.” Read the full story

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Widespread Ebola Pandemic Fears A “Huge Confidence Booster” For Previously Modest Ebolavirus


SENEGAL – Explaining that it was, “as surprised as the next viral particle,” about the panic surrounding a potential global Ebola outbreak, EBOV, the virus responsible for Ebola Hemorrhagic Fever, held a press conference this week detailing its seemingly pleasant surprise at the worldwide discussion regarding its supposed pandemic-worthy virulence factors.

“Don’t get me wrong, I have always known my mortality rate was above average,” explained the negative-sense, single-stranded RNA virion. Read the full story

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Obama Apologizes For Post-election Hubris


Barack Obama has reportedly done a complete about face. Having encountered widespread criticism for the tough stance he took in his post-electoral press conference, the President has decided to take a more conciliatory approach with his Republican opponents.

“I’m really sorry about last Wednesday,” said Obama.

“The fact of the matter is I inadvertently switched speech texts and mistakenly brought along part of one about dealing with terrorists to the press conference.” Read the full story

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