BAYNARD’S BOTTOM, Tennessee (GlossyNews) — A retired Methodist Minister claims that the Bible which supposedly depicts the history of our planet since the time God created it and everything in it was really written about another planet. He claims that astronomers have recently discovered a planet that is almost identical to Earth, but that planet lies over a trillion light years away and is therefore making it difficult to prove his theory. Even more puzzling is how their history got to this planet, leading to one of the largest celestial mix-ups of our time. Read the full story

ALBUQUERQUE, NM (GlossyNews) — God Almighty, sole owner and creator of the earth, has categorically denied a joint bid by Carlos Slim Helu, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, Mukesh Ambani, Lakshmi Mittal and other billionaire club members to buy the planet. Read the full story