Tag Archive | "DUI"

DADDS Drunk Driver System Promises More Hassle, Road Deaths


NHTSA is seriously considering a mandate to put breathalyzers in every single new car on the road.

Not only is the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration considering it, they’ve been funding its research since 2008 with millions already invested.

Sure, DADDS it’s impractical, inconvenient and ineffective, but more importantly, it stands to actually increase road deaths. Read the full story

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Posted in Crime, Gadgets & GizmosComments (0)

Florida Woman Assaults Twin Over Boyfriend, Vibrator [Video News]


Heidi Creamer, yes, her real name, assaulted her buxom blonde twin sister Holly Creamer, also her real name, over a vibrator.

You think I’m joking, but this isn’t satire, it’s Florida. It’s God’s idea of satire.

Scroll down to watch this, our first ever “Daily News Update,” in which I try to make sense of the day’s headlines for your embetterment and embiggening, and cromulently so. Read the full story

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Posted in Strange People, Video NewsComments (11)

Judge Rejects 17-Year-Old Drunk Driver Affluenza Defense


A Texas judge threw out the Affluenza defense of a 16-year-old drunk driver today claiming the boy’s family did not make enough money to qualify for that defense.

“I am sentencing this boy to three years in prison,” said Texas State District Judge Jean Boyd.

“His parents only make $65,000 per year between them. In order to qualify for the affluenza defense parents must make over $300,000 and have a cumulative net worth exceeding $3 million including property.”

The boy’s lawyer, public defender Josh Sherman, claims that despite his family’s low income, the boy has always been pampered and allowed to do whatever he wants. Read the full story

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Posted in CrimeComments (8)

NRA: “F*ck It, Why Have Laws At All?”


WASHINGTON — In a decisive move, federal lawmakers are expected to push a bill through both houses that would repeal every gun control law that ever existed in the U.S. dating back to the Articles of Confederation.

According to sources on Capitol Hill, this new legislation comes on the heels of an NRA-funded campaign to bombard congressional Email accounts relentlessly with pro- 2nd amendment memes. Read the full story

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Posted in PoliticsComments (3)

Spring Break Jokes


With warmer weather approaching and Spring Break right around the corner, Glossy News has decided, against our normal routine, to share some jokes.

Normally we structure some sort of premise then jam all the jokes in around it, but sometimes it’s just easier this way.

Why do Spring Breakers not like blond jokes?
They always have to find a blond to explain them.

Did you hear about the Spring Breaker who had a brain bruise?
He sat down too hard.

Why does Bud beer always sell so well at Spring Break?
Spring breakers can’t pronounce Heinekin.

Did you hear about the special type of DUI that the police issue at Spring Break?
Driving Under the Intelligence level.

Why do Spring Breakers always run around naked?
They haven’t figured out how buttons and zippers work yet.

What do you call twins on Spring Break?
A good reason for legalizing abortions.

Why do Spring Breakers use snowboards that are rounded at both ends?
Because they don’t know if they are coming or going.

How do you tell the difference between a regular tourist and a Spring Breaker?
A regular tourist will not be found in the morning upside down stoned in a trash can with his pants missing and one of his socks over his genitals (usually).

How does a female college student explain to her dad that she is pregnant four months after coming home from Spring Break?
“He told me it was a condom. How was I to know it was the plastic bag from the wine bottle?”

Why do college students drink so much at Spring Break?
They find that diminished brain cells help lessen the blow of failing out of school.

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NOTE – To those wishing to comment- Yes, I know this is not an article. Just take it for what it is and we will all be a lot happier and maybe have a chuckle.

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Posted in TravelComments (2)

Kelly Osbourne Arrested for DUI? TSG Mugshot Says Maybe


Anyone familiar with Kelly Osbourne knows she has an uncommon love for all things chemical, specifically if they can get her to an altered state, and as a member of the first family of rock, she’s never faced an ounce of consequence for her penchant to imbibe. Has Kelly Osbourne been arrested for DUI? Read the full story

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip, MusicComments (0)

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