Tag Archive | "domestic spying"

Fappers Rejoice as Aussie Developer Shuts Down Proposed Data Retention Plan


Melbourne born software Developer Mike Pearce has thwarted government plans to impose mandatory data retention for all Australian citizens by fundamentally changing the way the internet works.

Australian PM, Tony Abbott is currently being accused of bullying the opposition and scaring the Australian people into submission with his new data retention plan.

The plan is being fiercely fought by Australia’s newest political superhero-to-the-people, Senator Scott Ludlam. Read the full story

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John Kerry Threatens to Beat the Shit Out Of Edward Snowden


US Secretary of State John Kerry asked government whistleblower Edward Snowden to return to the US so he can “personally beat the shit out of him”.

“I’m sick of that little pansy ass spilling all our government secrets!” an enraged Kerry declared. “I want him to com back here so I can beat the shit out of him. I want to smack him in the nose and spread his analyst guts all over!”

Kerr claims that Snowden’s revelation of NSA snooping has permanently damaged the United States, caused hundreds of billions of dollars in damages, created international tension, increased the national debt and may bring on World War 3.

“If we had simply kept our secrets as secrets then no one would have known and everything would be OK!” Kerry continued. “But this Snowden had to open his big fat mouth and show everyone our fucking documents so now the US looks like a bunch of assholes!”

Snowden has insisted all along that what he did was good for the country and said that if Kerry came after him he would “whip his ass”.

“Kerry is a loud mouthed old fart”, Snowden stated. “I’ll box his ears, punch him in the face then kick him in the nuts! Tell him to come to Russia and we’ll duke it out!”

Kerry said he would travel to Russia when time permits but he is currently busy with Benghazi and other affairs.

“I told you he was a wienie!” Snowden stated.

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Wiretap Program ‘Proof That Government Listens to the People’


WASHINGTON – Countering suggestions that it is “out of touch” with the average American, the United States Government today declared that it always strives to listen to the voice of the people – citing its warrantless wiretap program as evidence.

Introduced by President Bush – who also used the controversial measures to “listen to the concerns of the nation” – the NSA Warrantless Surveillance Program has since been employed by the Obama administration in an effort to “let every voice be heard.” Read the full story

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CIA Caught Spying on Afghan Rug – Part I of I


As related to Glossy News by a well informed cabbie in New York City.

Former CIA operative turned whistleblower, Frank Turner, shocked the nation this past Friday recounting his recent hardships in front of a live television audience. Turner, who had remained relatively anonymous after his estrangement, used the attention to direct harsh criticisms toward CIA officials and further expose the organization’s most recent intrusion into domestic affairs. Read the full story

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