Tag Archive | "dnc leaks"

It Ain’t Over Yet: Post-Election Leak of Clinton’s Secret White Millennial Meetup


The scandalous Clinton leaks continue! Here is the secret transcript of the first two days of November 2016, entitled:

‘Secret DNC Intelligence Briefings.’

November 1, 2016

Two days ago, Hillary Clinton delivered a stunning speech aimed at white millennial voters from a yoga mat in Boca Raton.

Recent advances in genomics allow us the opportunity to rid our children of misogyny, homophobia, and racism.

We can check our white privilege in the womb, and be stronger together.

Tim Kaine was told to delivered the identical speech (from a right wing eugenical perspective, rather than a left wing eugenical perspective), to an rally of 30 in West Palm Beach.

Under hostile questioning from Harball’s Chris Matthews, Donald Trump blurted out something about

White American men voting for Hillary… Believe me… These men are already castrated… Eunuchs… Make America hard again… Bigly.

Gary Johnson embraced a more libertarian position, stating

Men over 18 should have the choice of eliminating the warmongering gene in their genetic sequence… Ohhh, crap! Did that sound bad? Uh… maybe it should be delivered in edible form. Well hey! That a little better?

He further showed interest in taking a CEO position in just such a company after he is soundly defeated next week.

Jill Stein concurred with Johnson, but called for a “global public health care mandate,” also focusing on recycling.

November 2, 2016

Clinton returned to the topic of eugenics. By funding proper publicly accountable and socially expedient research, new advances in genetic engineering will rid conservative men of the underlying seeds of aggression…

E.g. testosterone, male genitalia, and other primitive and backward vestiges of the ancient pre-Clintonian patriarchy.

She says that in order to do this, we must overcharge breadline health insurance users, having first furnished them with a subtle subliminal assurance that:

If you want to keep your dick, you can keep your dick!

Separately she plans to ban the use of email in government, as history has shown that Republicans and other irresponsible right wing conservative bigots simply cannot be trusted with such.

Trump is rumored to be a little angry at this, as the next time Twitter crashes or Fox News has technical problems, he is going to have to rely on email briefings.

Still, he says he is not going to read them, even if he gets them.

Nobody does intelligence reports like me… Trust me, you’re gonna love ‘em!

It is consideredly somewhat unlikely, however, that he will ever once set pen to paper to write such.

The threat of conservative authoritarianism is so serious, that President Clinton must eliminate everyone’s ability to question the government…

Albeit, purely in order to foster a radically pluralistic society with a voluminous diversity of opinions and an active public sphere of debate! For it would be simply impossible to sustain all these latter, if authoritarian bigots and tyrannical fanatics were carelessly permitted to air their views, and to arrogantly prevent others from questioning them.

Angela Merkel, Nicolas Sarkozy and Theresa May have offered to provide as much assistance as they possibly can, short of any remotely substantial commitment of financial resources.

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