Tag Archive | "crooked republicans"

Obama Blocks Republicans’ Salaries – Saudis Step In


Obama has issued an executive order to block salaries to Republican Congressmen. They responded by saying “They would impeach his black ass”.

Democratic Congressmen have hailed this as the best step Obama has taken so far. This said, Republican Congressmen ended up better off than they were. Read the full story

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Robopundit Alex Castellanos Soft Sells Republican Anarchism


Dateline: PALO ALTO—Robotics Corp, a Fortune 500 company, treated reporters to a behind-the-scenes look at the manufacturing of their pre-programmed artificial persons for use in selling conservative policies in the United States.

The featured model is called the Alex Castellanos, which belongs to the company’s Moderation Class of automata. Read the full story

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New Karl Rove Infomercial: “Weaseling Your Way To Success”


Greetings fellow Americans – Are you one of the downtrodden ones who have never had a lucky break?

I was one too, but I am going to pass on to you how you can break out of the bad luck cycle with my new book “Weaseling Your Way To Success!”

As a child I was unattractive, unpopular and as dorky as Popeye going through spinach withdrawals. But I powered through all that to the very top echelons of our society. Read the full story

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John Boehner Changing Last Name to BAY-ner


Rep. John Boehner (R-OH) held a press conference last week to announce that he has started the process within the Ohio State court system to officially change his family name from Boehner (pronounced Boner) to BAY-ner (what he says is the correct pronunciation of his last name according to his official website). Boehner has tried unsuccessfully his entire career to convince his constituents and others that the correct pronunciation of his name is BAY-ner; however, that pronunciation has just not caught on.

Tired of the hang up calls left on his congressional office voice mail asking for Mr. Boner, Rep. Boehner was forced to take action. “Look, I’ll tell you what this is really about,” he said. “I have every intention of running for President in 2012, and I think that with people mispronouncing my name as Mr. Boner, I will not be able to demand the respect and serious consideration I will need while running a presidential campaign.”

The press conference was cut short due to uncontrollable laughter.

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