Tag Archive | "comic"

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? (comic)


It’s the age-old question. Seriously, how many of a particular group does it take to change a light bulb?

In my house the answer is somewhere between zero and one. If it’s me doing it, it’s one, if anybody else is in charge, it’s zero, because it just never happens. Have so many burnt out in the house it just makes no sense. We poke ourselves in the face constantly in the dimness of our laziness. Read the full story

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Have You Tried Our New Dog Food? (comic)


If you’ve ever watched television, you know there’s always a new product on TV trying to make your dog’s smile brighter, her coat shinier, and her trot that much more trotsome… but can you believe it?

This was inspired by my buddy who is a very successful feed rep in the northwest, though I’m sure he’d prefer I don’t call him out by name. Read the full story

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If you love her, put a threesome ring on it (comic)


Quick note before we get started… as sexy as these things may seem on the surface, they’re terribly disappointing, horribly divisive, and generally the end of your relationship.

Some guys haven’t learned that yet, which is the basis of today’s cartoon, so consume it accordingly. Read the full story

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Relationship Bound to End in Failure (Comic)


Ever feel like you’re in a relationship for all the wrong reasons, or in the right relationship for all the right reasons, but with the wrong person? This web comic knows exactly how you feel.

Click on the comic to enlarge it and see it full size

To see all of my comics, including the many that have yet to be published, go to GlossyNews.com/c. It also includes details and commentary you won’t find anywhere else.

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How Much Really Is That Doggy in the Window? (comic)


We’ve all heard the jingle, but really how much indeed is that doggy in the window?

This age-old question deserves an answer, even if the asker is clearly suffering from some sort of chemical or mental impairment. Seriously, how much money do you want for that doggy in the window?

I’m sure there’s a right answer in here somewhere, but I doubt either of those in this comic have that right answer. Read the full story

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Toddler Tells Parent to “Shut Up” (comic)


If you ever have the misfortune of sprouting offspring, you’ll know what I mean when I say they can get pretty lippy, and mighty quickly at that. Pretty much as soon as they learn to talk, they know how to talk back.

You can punch them in the mouth, but if you do, send me your address, because I might like a few forceful words with you for having done that… they’re kids, you can’t get mad for their behavior. You mold them into who they are. If they swear, it’s because you taught them to swear. If they tell you to shut up, well, I’ll get to that. Read the full story

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Don’t Let Jesus’ Death Be for Nothing (comic)


We learn from a very young age that Jesus died for our sins, so we can commit them without having to sacrifice animals to our Lord God to earn repentance. Still leaves a few questions, but my question is better.

If we don’t sin, why in the hell would Jesus’ death be worth it? I mean, this is the literal son of God. He died so we can sin without regret. If I don’t sin, I feel like I’ll go to hell just for that. Read the full story

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Occupy Movement has returned in full force (comic)


If you ever wondered what happened to the Occupy movement, you’re not alone. It was once large and flourishing, but the police put a stop to that, and now it’s basically dead… but maybe it’s back, thanks to this recent development.

It’s true that the sentiments still remain, and that the wealth gap in America continues to widen, so why is it that Occupy has fallen by the wayside. Surely it has nothing to do with the fact that the police arrested so many people, hosed down the rest and tear-gassed the remainder. No, that’s surely secondary. Read the full story

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How to Scam Your Local Missionaries (comic)


I get way too many missionaries at my door. It’s about every 10-14 days. Maybe it’s because I live in a largely immigrant area and they think we must all be suckers for something new.

But there’s a loophole. They swear to give out free money to those in need… they promise you don’t have to tithe unless you can afford it… and (unlike the Mormons) they don’t ask to see proof of your financial situation. Read the full story

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Ever Feel Like There’s a Transcript of Your Life? (comic)


We’ve all been there. Wondering who’s listening, how long our words will remain. Well this lady gets a tad literal with it. You have to see the comic to appreciate it, and well you should.

CLICK ON THE IMAGE to see it full size.

To see all of my comics, including the many that have yet to be published, go to GlossyNews.com/c. It also includes details and commentary you won’t find anywhere else.

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Posted in Comics, Strange PeopleComments (1)

How hard do hipsters Instagram? (comic)


If a tree falls and blah blah blah whatever does it meh who cares? Age old question with no good answers. Let’s face it, all of them are wrong.

But when the same question applies to a hipster, apparently there’s a whole new dimension to it. Mind you, it’s an incredibly shallow dimension, but the principle still applies, technically, I’m told. Read the full story

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Posted in Comics, Internets TubesComments (1)

Jesus Christ Hates Elvis (comic)


This comic was inspired by an actual conversation my mother had with actual missionaries about three decades ago.

She was feisty then, she’s still a pain in my ass now, but none of that means anything in comparison to the greatness of heaven offered by our Lord and savior Jesus Christ. Read the full story

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How much do five hipsters weigh? (comic)


It’s a non-sequitur from the word “don’t go,” but apparently it’s been asked, so we’ll address it. How much do five hipsters weigh?

Surely this is the pressing question of our time, and one that deserves front-page news attention, even though it’s just a setup for a series of jokes at the expense of hipsters… well, at least they’re not real people. Read the full story

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Extreme Couponing… It’s called Shoplifting (comic)


If you’ve ever wondered the best way to squeeze a few nickels out of your local retailer, there’s no better way than shoplifting. Sure you might go to jail over a $1.87 sample size of Jergins, but usually you’ll just damn the man.

This comic shows all the benefits and potential detriments, I assume. I haven’t actually read it. I find the comics on this site crass, so I don’t actually take the time to look at them. They’re a bit beneath me. Read the full story

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Why was the boxer so funny? (comic)


Kids love to tell jokes in only two varieties; dumb and inappropriate. The one sadly falls into the “dumb” category, but hopefully redeems itself in the fourth act.

This is a fine example of why we shouldn’t leave jokes to children. Sure, they come up with the odd, random chuckle, but in the end, they really don’t know what they’re talking about.

And if this joke is any indication, they also have no command of a punch line.

To see all of my comics, including the many that have yet to be published, go to GlossyNews.com/c. It also includes details and commentary you won’t find anywhere else.

Brian is on temporary personal leave but has left us with an innumerous backlog of comics to share until his return. Check back for daily updates.

36-funny-boxer

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Myths No Match for Wikipedia, Despite Wikipedia (comic)


Follow up on the previous one in this installment. Ever heard something that was just too juicy to not be true? You don’t have to let it lie there, facts be damned, just add it to Wikipedia and see if it sticks.

Before you know it you’ll be an expert in whichever field of imaginary expertise you set out to conquer.

This cartoon deals with a pattern of willful misinformation.

This is in reference to yesterday’s comic How the Scan-Tron Actually Got Its Name.

40-wikipedia-lies

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Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc, ComicsComments (1)

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