Tag Archive | "Colts"

Mean Colts Getting Fans’ Hopes Up Again


INDIANAPOLIS – In what was arguably designed as a mean prank yesterday, the Indianapolis Colts conspired to build up the hopes of millions of Hoosiers by recording their first victory of the season against the Tennessee Titans.

Avoiding a 14th successive defeat Sunday, the Colts – known for cruelly convincing fans that further impending success always lies ahead – roused the 50,000 in attendance with a spitefully deceiving performance and post-game lap of honor. Read the full story

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Indianapolis Convention & Visitors Association Video Ties Indianapolis Colts


A music video that was produced by the Indianapolis Convention and Visitors Association, lost on Tuesday, November 29, officially tying the Indianapolis Colts’ current season record of no wins, all losses.

The video, entitled “Indy Super Bowl Shuffle,” parodies a nearly thirty year-old music video and song by the Chicago Bears, and features a cast of local hotel employees lip-syncing and dancing in an attempt to depict Indianapolis as a “fun,” “cosmopolitan,” and “world-class” destination. Read the full story

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Victory a Result of Man Shouting ‘Go Colts’ at TV


INDIANAPOLIS – The Indianapolis Colts secured a hard-earned victory against the Minnesota Vikings on Week 2 of the new NFL season Sunday, attributing their victory to local man Justin Thacker, who persistently yelled “go Colts” at his television screen throughout the 3-hour broadcast.

Initially, it was believed that the impressive victory came about as a result of the team’s considerable work ethic, months of pre-season preparation and valiant individual prowess. Read the full story

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Andrew Luck Relishing Challenge of Outgrowing the Colts


INDIANAPOLIS – Speaking ahead of Sunday’s game against the Jacksonville Jaguars, prospective new quarterback Andrew Luck insisted he is really enjoying the challenge of following in the footsteps of Peyton Manning and to one day outgrow The Indianapolis Colts.

Saying that he hopes to “fully develop his game” under coach Chuck Pagano so that he can make a big-money move away to “someone like the New York Giants” later on down the road, Luck invited NFL scouts to “come and see me play.” Read the full story

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Manning Joins Broncos, Tebow Converts to Paganism


DENVER, Colorado – “There is more than one God,” Tim Tebow said in awe after watching Peyton Manning complete yet another pass in practice. “There’s just no other explanation.”

The Broncos’ ex-quarterback, known less for his passing skills than for his prayer timeouts and his genuflections after any positive gain on offense, stood in astonishment as he watched the 4-time MVP award winner take his job away with casual throws to members of the practice squad. “God is not almighty,” Tebow explained, “He’s got nothing on Manning when They’re on the football field.” Read the full story

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