Around 3:00AM this morning, editors and contributors of GlossyNews snuck into The Onion’s corporate office. Armed with biting words and keen wit they successfully carried out a hostile takeover.

As of this morning, all news originating from TheOnion’s website and their print publication are actually the result of GlossyNews’ hardworking contributors. You should expect an increase in the wittiness of the material published.

GlossyNews is now running surveillance on ColbertNation to determine if it’s worth taking over as well.

The Winter Olympics in Vancouver have obviously taught us all some important lessons about bobsled safety and 40 million dollar opening ceremonies. However, some Americans are learning more than they ever expected from the Olympic coverage. Americans, globally renowned for a complete ignorance of geography, have discovered countries they didn’t know existed at all. Read the full story