Tag Archive | "citizens united"

Election 2012 Over; Will Lessons Learned Fade as Quickly as the Scars?


The 2012 elections were stressful and trying for those on both sides of the political spectrum, but it’s easy to see why nobody had it worse than Brian K. White, the editor of Glossy News.

After all, I did have 62-articles to edit on election day alone, and I followed this thing so passionately I would have named my first born after it had the timing been different.

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So here’s what we actually learned from the 2012 election cycle: Read the full story

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The Tea Party Fat Lady in the Closet


I once viewed the Tea Party as the Paul Potts of politics, supported by ordinary people a bit rough around the edges, yet capable of great accomplishments.

Potts, an unassuming man who sold mobile phones for a living, stood solo on the stage of a British variety show and with a talent unexpected of someone so seemingly mainstream, belted out an exquisite operatic aria before a dumbstruck audience.

The we’re- just-regular-folk Tea Party supporters popped up on this country’s stage in much the same way, out of nowhere but from our everywhere, singing angry discontent for a government tone deaf to the people’s wants and needs.

Any semblance ends on that note. Read the full story

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Supreme Court Protects Corporations’ Right to Bear Arms


Washington D.C. – Today the Supreme Court upheld Corporations’ Second Amendment Rights.

This decision comes in the wake of the much controversial decision, FEC v. Citizens United, where the Court upheld corporations First Amendment rights to free speech by striking down provisions of the McCain-Feingold Act.

In the historic case of Wal-mart v United States, the supreme court extended the same constitutional liberties granted to free citizens of the United States to the mega store chain. the Justices were split in a 5-4 decision. The decision residing on whether or not corporations had the same rights as individuals since they were an assembly of individual citizens, including the second ammendment right to bear arms.

Right: Image appears courtesy of Heather Gillam. Click to enlarge.

Michael T. Duke, CEO of Wal-mart, said “This is a great day for liberty indeed. No longer does the American public have to be dependent on the United States Military for protection from foreign invasion, now they can get the same protection at a lower price.”

Wal-mart, employing more people than the US Army, has built a reputation of offering consumer goods and services at a cheaper price than any competitor.

Robson Walton, eldest son of the founder Sam Walton, explained “We already have enough firearms and ammunition to arm all of our employees. We also have the food and resources to provide Americans with a more adequate response to natural disasters than the military. We don’t want to replace the Military by any means, we just want to provide people with another option.”

Chief Justice Roberts wrote the majority opinion, stating “Corporations have been treated like second class citizens for far too long. It was our landmark decision in FEC v Citizens United that protected the freedoms guaranteed by the Constitution of these United States and had raised the question of corporations subservient role in our national context.

It is the opinion of the court that these patriots will be protected. We will no longer fear terror with the additional protection these private citizens will provide, to ensure freedom will be enjoyed by future generations without fear and prejudice.”

The dissenting opinion, written by Justice Sotomayor, was the shortest in the court’s history. It simply read “I’m moving to Canada.”

Mass mobilizations have been spotted around Target and K-Mart stores around the nation, Wal-mart citing the necessity for a preemptive strike before the “tyranny of these rouge chains can be contained.” Wal-Mart used grainy satellite imaging, processed at the Wal-Mart Photo Center impressively in under an hour, as evidence. These photos showed Wal-Mart’s competitors attempting to lower their prices in order to gain the capital necessary to arm themselves.

Wal-Mart, following their typical business model, has been purchasing armaments from China. They reported that “the Chinese have provided cheaper munitions, allowing Wal-Mart to provide world class security that a working class family can afford.”

Pentagon senior officials look forward to the relief provided by Americas corporations, going further to say “finally, the private sector is doing something to protect this nation.”

Duke, while cleaning a gold plated .45 caliber handgun asserted that “maybe now corporations will be granted the right to vote, guaranteed by the 14th amendment. Having to pay a politician to make sure your interests are met is such an arduous process, and unconstitutional if you ask me.”

Senate and House Republicans have rallied around the decision, emphasizing the reduced cost for future military conflicts they plan to blame on President Obama.

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U.S. Congress Sets Fixed Price on Free Speech


A bill explicitly stating that American citizens will be allocated 1 second of free speech for every $10,000 they make a year has made its way through the Senate subcommittee process. The following is the official transcript of the final hearing:

2012

A BILL TO CODIFY, GUARD, AND BOLSTER FREE SPEECH RIGHTS IN THE UNITED STATES

HEARING

BEFORE THE

SUBCOMMITTEE ON THE CONSTITUTION, CIVIL RIGHTS, AND HUMAN RIGHTS

OF THE
COMMITTEE OF THE JUDICIARY Read the full story

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Americans Beg: Let Our Corporations Speak


God bless America. In January 2010, the Supreme Court of the United States finally brought justice to a long oppressed minority: Citigroup – and the other Fortune 500 companies which have for too long been ignored in our Democracy. I for one could not be more proud to be an American than I am right now. Read the full story

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