Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)
The 6.1 earthquake that rattled the nation’s capitol last year had shock waves that were felt as far north as New England. No major damages were reported and injuries were confined to a few heart attacks from some elderly citizens.
First reports said the White House was shaken but not stirred as the major earth movement was reported to be 100 miles south. President Obama issued a statement claiming he and his family are OK, they weren’t in danger, and for people not to worry.
PHOTO INSERT: The subject of Mrs. Obama’s rather rotund posterior came up as the GSA reported a $3 million dollar tab for adding unbreakable titanium toilet lids on Air Force One. The First ladies of France and Spain… and you-know-who. (CLICK TO ENLARGE)… if you dare.
The First family was far away at the time after having spent the last several days vacationing at New England’s Martha’s Vineyard resort. Laughter could be heard as far away as Boston as local Tea Party members groaned over the fact that the president showed more concern for himself than asking if any citizens were hurt.
Obama later blamed the rare earthquake on past President Bush, claiming the epicenter was located on the Bush’s Fault Line. He also mentioned the earthquake was part of his new, but unreleased, new jobs plan for America in which millions of jobs would be formed to deal with the ensuing damages. So far almost $100 billion dollars have been spend for DC historic monument repairs resulting in almost 75 new jobs.
Others are blaming Michelle Obama’s rather large rear-end for the cause of the event, stating “she had plopped down real hard on the beach which caused a mini-tsunami which wiped out Nantucket Island and sent reverberations down the east coastline.”