BANGALORE, INDIA (Glossy News) — India plans to launch its first manned space mission in 2016, moving to become the fourth nation to put a man in space (fifth if you count Russia and the USSR separately, which many cold warriors do) — but it comes with a peculiar pro-business twist.

The estimated cost for the single mission is currently at a reasonable $2.76 billion – or about $2.43 per Indian citizen (most of whom earn less than a dollar a year), given 2010 population statistics. Read the full story

London (GlossyNews) — A spokesman for Richard Branson today announced the entrepreneur’s plans to build a world class ski resort in Florida to take advantage of the changing climate. Stanley Kidd, in a press conference in London laid out Branson’s goal, “Richard wants to turn this whole mess of global warming into something we can enjoy and can help out the economy.” “Richard says it is time to stop whining about global warming and and actually DO something … to make money. of course.”

“We see Brevard County in Florida as one of the key tourist venues of the future as the snow will begin to pile up there in record proportions. Read the full story

The worlds first space vehicle designed to allow passengers to experience space travel and weightlessness was hijacked today by robotic Cylons demanding that they be flown to somewhere called the “12 Colonies”. The Virgin Galactic was just preparing for takeoff when a number of metal, evil looking robots entered the bridge by force and took control. Read the full story