Tag Archive | "boehner"

Trumpenstein Horror Now Threatens Republicans


A Rathskeller deep in the forested woods. Night has drawn its blackest curtain across the outer world, blocking out even the niggardly light from the stars.

Rain hammers against the windows and lightning cackles in the air.

A troupe of men with faces that seek the shadows meet in a corner booth away from the gazes of the other inn patrons.

They speak in cautious whispers that they wish no other ears to intrude upon: Read the full story

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Obama Claims Racial Progress Made After Finishing Boehner’s Shoes


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Congress Gets Unusually Creative In Its Ways Of Kicking Down Obama


Just when you would think that Congress (aka Republicans) could not get any more creative in their undermining of just about every move that Obama makes they come with something that leaves you aghast that they actually do possess some degree of creativity.

No longer stonewalling and counter measuring everything the non-white man President does the Congress passed a measure to sue Obama over the actions he is taking in using Presidential procedure to make decisions.

Funny, they never did this when George the Second Bush went way beyond his legislative abilities to pass laws and to gut simple human rights (aided by his caretaker Dick aka. Vader Cheney).

As I remember they who are now so indignant at Obama sat back in their high seats and snickered. In other words its OK when one of their own good old boys do it, but not when the black whippersnapper does. Am I wrong or isn’t that the basis for fascism?

In an effort to waste more time and taxpayer money the Repubs are starting a ridiculous lawsuit designed to make themselves look good and tough and Obama bad. It is all part of a continuous manipulative effort to make better their chances for election wins in the present mid-term and for the 2016 Presidential election.

It is also a ploy to further handicap a President who would have gotten a lot more good done for the country had the Right worked with him a little bit rather than working him over. What could have been a landmarking term of office with vast improvements for all sections of American society has instead sunk into a morass of hatred and back stabbing resulting in a stagnation of our whole way of life.

In a way whose only purpose is to make the big boys in the right look good to their buddies and cronies and serves no other purpose but to gum up the governmental machinery more and cost us more tax money, the suing will bring no good to anyone except for a few lawyers to get richer and for a few redneck bigots to gloat more.

As though Obama doesn’t have enough to deal with already.

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Obama: Nat King Cole Song is ‘Homophobic’


WASHINGTON, D.C. – Americans have been left in shock after President Obama issued a statement characterizing Nat King Cole’s famous “Christmas Song” as homophobic.

In a press conference held late on Friday, Obama explained that his uneasiness with the classic tune stems from the following verse:

They know that Santa’s on his way
He’s loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh,
And ev’ry mother’s child is gonna spy, Read the full story

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Obama Meets with Republicans; Shows Them His Spine


President Barack Obama finally sat down with John Boehner and Mitch McConnell to discuss how to end the stalemate over the funding of government. Unfortunately, neither side could make the concessions needed to end the standoff.

Upon leaving the meeting about an hour after it started, Obama gave a quick press conference in which he shared with the world that, he does have a spine. Read the full story

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Assad agrees to cooperate in “symbolic strike” against Syria


The Assad regime in Syria today agreed to cooperate in a “symbolic strike” against itself. “We understand the need for the U.S. to maintain its prestige and credibility,” said a Syrian government official, on condition of anonymity, “and if bombing some unused installation in the middle of nowhere will make them feel better, we’re willing to help.”

RIGHT: Tomahawk missile on a symbolic mission. [CLICK TO ENLARGE] Read the full story

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Shaking in Fear, Oil Covered Congress Presses Obama to Approve Keystone XL Pipeline


Covered in what appears to be various amounts of crude oil, Congress is increasing pressure on the Obama administration to approve work on the long-delayed Keystone XL oil sand pipeline.

They argue that the pipeline, which plans to carry large volumes of heavy oil from the Canadian tar sands to the southern United States, will help lower the nation’s energy cost, create more jobs, and provide a boost to the economy. Read the full story

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Pelosi Uses Assault Weapon, Averts Federal Shutdown


Days after an assault weapons ban was removed from a gun violence bill in the Senate earlier this week, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif, entered house chambers on Thursday, legally equipped with a SIG SG 550 assault rifle.

Pelosi carried the weapon at her side as House members were meeting to vote on a short-term funding measure to keep the government running beyond the end of the month. The bill, which cleared the Senate on Wednesday, was awaiting it’s final passage in the House to avert a shutdown. Read the full story

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Obama Resigns… Almost


In a surprise announcement, Barack Obama has decided to step down. Foregoing the balance of his second term, the President will pass on the executive reins of government to his vice president, Joe Biden.

Obama revealed his decision during his latest Sunday radio address. After outlining a progressive agenda for the next four years, he sighed and simply said that he didn’t have the patience or will to carry through with those plans. Read the full story

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The Koch Addiction


It’s not every day that a U.S. Congressman wants to talk to a reporter about his addiction. In keeping with his request for anonymity, however, I have deleted any references that might reveal his identity, and therefore refer to him in this report with a fictitious name, Congressman Boner.

RIGHT: The Koch Brothers peddle political addiction. (CLICK TO ENLARGE) Read the full story

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Speaker Boehner Declares War On Women Over, Proposes Removal Of All Rights


In a move that is considered very ballsy for a man who cries every time someone mentions a bar, Congressional Speaker of the House John Boehner declared today that he was officially submitting legislation that would end the so called “War On Women”.

Because issues surrounding women’s health have continually caused problems for the republican party during this election cycle, Speaker Boehner has determined that they can no longer retreat from every idiotic statement made by candidates for office from their party with the same contention that it was taken out of context or it’s meaning twisted. Read the full story

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Obama Reaches Out to Republican Pinheads to Solve America’s Problems


WASHINGTON – Faced with increasing criticism from within his own party about his concessions to Republicans as part of the recent debt ceiling deal, President Obama yesterday attempted to explain the reasoning behind his approach during a meeting with Democratic leaders at the White House. Read the full story

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First Weiner, Now Boehner, Caught Pants Down


In what can only be described as a doubly penetrating scandal, pictures have now emerged of an exposed Boehner. According to a source close to Boehner, the politician is currently involved in a scandal involving emails sent to a 68-year-old male resident of the Phillipines, named Ping Tong. Read the full story

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GOP Claims Use of Categorical Denials Indicates Supreme Leadership Skills


The Daily Trough reports that Grand Old Party Speaker of the House John Boehner has categorically denied political and special interests in current GOP debt-ceiling strategies.

A spokesperson on behalf of the party, who wishes to remain anonymous, has said, “We categorically reject that our aim is to obstruct any and all efforts by the Obama administration to work out a compromise. We are absolutely interested in compromise and serving the people of this great nation. Read the full story

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Airport Screenings to Include CT Scans, MRIs, Dental Cleanings


WASHINGTON, D.C. (Glossy News) — Last December, following a foiled terrorist airline attack, airports implemented full body scans, prompting many air travelers to wonder what additional security procedures they would have to endure. The wondering can stop. Yesterday, the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) announced a comprehensive battery of new health care-friendly airport screenings. In addition to full body scans, air travelers will now be able to get free CAT scans, MRIs, dental cleanings and even yearly physicals while going through security. Read the full story

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Boehner and Bobdole Reveal 13-year Marriage


Washington DC —EBBQ Today the offices of John Boehner (Bay-ner) (R–OH) revealed that Senator Boehner and former Senator Bobdole (R–KS ret.) have maintained a secret same-sex marriage for the past 13 years.

“In fact,” a Bobdole spokesperson said, “Bobdole did legally adopt Sen. Boehner at that time, as there was no state where they could legally be married. In fact they are father and son. This is a relationship that is quite familiar in the gay circles. There are whole internets set up to facilitate this type of relationship,” the spokesperson said. “It works quite well for them.” Read the full story

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