Tag Archive | "bin laden"

An Interview With Osama bin Laden (Yes, we know that he is already dead)


… but we aren’t going to let that stop us…

Glossynews has gained the unique opportunity to interview the infamous terrorist Osama bin Laden, the instigator of the 911 attacks on the U.S..

Reaching him at his present location in Purgatory, we were able to have the following conversation with him –

Glossy – Good day, Mr. bin Laden. How are you? Read the full story

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Declassified Letters Reveal Bin Laden A Truly Beautiful, Gifted Writer


WASHINGTON D.C. – A collection of declassified letters written by the late al Qaeda leader, Osama bin Laden, has revealed that the mastermind behind the September 11 attacks was a surprisingly beautiful and disciplined writer.

According to researchers at the US Military Academy, bin Laden, who was killed in a U.S. operation in Pakistan last May, displayed surprisingly intricate transitional development and advanced grammatical understanding throughout the 175-page cache seized by military forces during the raid on the Abbottabad compound. Read the full story

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“Snowden still working for us” says CIA


Reliable sources in the ICU section of the CIA confirmed to this reporter that whistle-blower Edward Snowden is “still working for us” and “doing a great job.”

My puzzlement elicited further explanation. “We have more than a million people involved in some kind of surveillance. It was bound to become public at some time, so what better than to break the news ourselves?” Read the full story

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The Texas Abortion Gauntlet: It’s Runny


With Texas Governor Rick Perry signing a new bill requiring women to see a sonogram of their unborn baby before undergoing an abortion, into law, the nature of the abortion debate has changed nationwide.

The law in its current form requires a 24 hour waiting period and for photos of the developing fetus to be made available to the expecting mother. Governor Perry praises the law saying, “Every life lost to abortion is a tragedy we all must work together to prevent.” Read the full story

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Usama bin Laden, a Touching Eulogy


VARIOUSLY AROUND D.C. — GlossyNews.com Trump is really pissed — he felt that only 8 years of ‘Mission Accomplished’ was not long enough to have any impact. He said, “America needs a real someone to hate.

I thought I had 2012 sealed in a jar with the Birth Certificate issue but that was blown away when he made it public last week. Much to my displeasure, I had to take all the credit for that reveal. But we lost our one best universal hate. All we, as a country, had left to hate was bin Laden — now a dead bin Laden. What’s to hate there?” Read the full story

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Terrorists Win! Bin Laden “Pleasantly Surprised” w/ NYC 9-11 Show Trial


Deep in the Mountains of Pakistan: Osama Bin Laden gave a rare press interview today to BSNE and other members of the international media. Commenting on the Obama Administration’s decision to try the mastermind of the 9-11 Attacks, Khalid Sheik Mohammed, in civilian court in New York City; a near giddy Bin Laden announced, “The terrorists Win!” Read the full story

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Al Qaeda Split Over Obama Overtures


A source in al Qaeda’s inner circle tells Al Jazeera that hardliners oppose Osama bin Laden’s decision to alter the organization’s tactics in response to President Barack Obama’s overtures to the Muslim world. Read the full story

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