December 2013 Glossy News author contest… $275 in Cash Prizes

Yep, you read it right. $275 is up for grabs.

$150 for the most-read article,
$75 for the best article, and,
$50 as a special award.

PRIZES WORK LIKE THIS:

$150 Most Read:
Plain and simple. Most read story on the site for the month of December gets the top prize.

$75 Best Article:
It’s unfair on every level, but I wanted a prize that reflects quality in addition to sheer volume of readership. Any author can suggested a story (not their own) for consideration, and I’ll pick the winner myself. This has to be something that’s exceptionally funny and well written, even if it not well read.

$50 Special Award:
This one is even harder to interpret, but will take every aspect of the story into consideration. It will be a mix of traffic, quality, nature and number of comments, and other factors I probably haven’t thought of yet. Special consideration will be given to stories that break the mold a bit in ways that work. I know, like I said, tricky.

Any Catches?
Of course, plenty. What fun would it be without a catch or ten?

To get the prize, the story has to be submitted and published during the month of December, with traffic counted until the 7th of January. If a story from the archives is #1, but yours is the top from December, you’ll get half the prize, with the other half going to the author of the older piece, assuming that author is eligible.

One author can win a maximum of two prizes. That means the max you can get from the contest is $200-225.

Who’s Eligible?
Everyone who submits a story in December is eligible, except Brian K. White and Dexter Sinistri, both of whom are me. If my current or archive stories take top spot, my $75 prize will be added to the pot for January. If one of my December stories takes top spot, the next author on the list will still get the $75 prize.

New authors, even those who have yet to join GlossyNews, are eligible. If you know someone brilliant, share this email with them.

To win the archive prize, you have to submit at least one story in December. But that means If you have an archive story you want to promote, you can still win cash by doing so. Some archive stories perform very well and others can be timely once again.

The Goal
We have an 8-liter V10 under the hood, but we’ve never gone out on the track. I want to see what Glossy News is really capable of and I’m willing to pay for the gas. We’ve always done a great job, but let’s see how far we can go.

If this produces results, it will happen again. If it takes off, we’ll be looking to rebuild and modernize the site sooner than later. I hope this is the start of something great.

The Dos and Don’ts (that looks funny typed out!)
– DO promote your work to your friends, family and social network. If you’re on Twitter and Facebook, post links to your stories. Your friends are welcome to post comments as well.

– DO post links to your articles on other sites like Fark.com, and Reddit.com, but don’t be a spammer about it. That leads to problems with blacklisting and we don’t want that.

– DO check out the other authors’ articles. See what you’re up against. Post comments for them and reply to comments on your stories. This keeps the conversation going.

– DO submit clean, compliant, run-ready stories. I can send the welcome letter with tutorial upon request. If you can include an image, that’s helpful. If you provide a Photoshopped image, that’s even better. If you have a specific Photoshop request, put it in ALL CAPS at the top of your article, and Mike Carlucci and I will do our best to accommodate.

– DON’T cheat… Don’t go on ebay and buy traffic from China. The system stats spot that and you’ll be disqualified. That doesn’t bring in new readers, it just clogs up the interwebs truck.

The Contest Begins… NOW!
Let’s make this a December to remember with a payday in Janu’ray.

Sincerely,

Brian K. White
Editor

Note to Authors with Scheduling Privileges
There are a number of authors who can run their stories immediately without review. You are still free to do that, but if you want a custom Photoshop first, consider putting the story in Pending or Drafts instead with an ALL CAPS note at the top.

Author: Brian White

Brian first began peddling his humorous wares with a series of Xerox printed books in fifth grade. Since then he's published over two thousand satire and humor articles, as well as eight stage plays, a 13-episode cable sitcom and three (terrible) screenplays. He is a freelance writer by trade and an expert in the field of viral entertainment marketing. He is the author of many of the biggest hoaxes of recent years, a shameful accomplishment in which he takes exceptional pride.