Welcome once again to the astrological stylings of Catman, Dude—the only seer who is not afraid to ask, “How the hell am I supposed to know?” Mr. Dude is an award-winning prognosticator who is half-cat, half-human, and half-assed. The Dude’s ability to predict the future is exceeded only by his inability to recall the past, which he, nevertheless, claims to have foretold with “unerring” certainty. Read the full story

Otherwise rational people often underestimate the power that certain gemstones, colors, and musical notes exert on their lives, especially the parts that haven’t occurred yet. Catman, Dude has addressed this problem in the past by plugging people into the associations between the signs of the zodiac and small appliances and by steering the reader through the intersections between motor vehicles and astrological forecasts. Now he reveals for the first time the effects of herbs and spices on a variety of human endeavors. This information will allow you to reap the benefits of the seeds planted by astrologer Cyrus McCormick, who once said, “To everything there is a seasoning.” Read the full story