Tag Archive | "assault rifles"

Arms Manufacturers Hope for Another Massacre To Stimulate Lagging Gun Sales


According to a recent Bloomberg.com article, guns sales have fallen off sharply since the days of the Sandy Hook and Batman movie massacres which is worrying arms manufacturers and salesmen.

The fear of having guns banned or limited sent gun lovers, conspiracy theorists, survivalists and various assorted whackos scurrying for their local gun shops to buy up whatever thunder sticks and ammos they could get their hands on.

Those times are now referred to as ‘the good ole’ days” by shop owners. Read the full story

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NRA Buys Chinese Knife Companies To Corner Mass Murder Market In Mainland China


The NRA, in a startling move, has bought up several mainland Chinese knife firms to encourage their nationals use of guns rather than knives.

China has recently suffered a number of knife attacks at train stations and other public places that have been horrific in nature and resulted in terrible injuries and deaths.

Some of the attacks perpetrated by deranged individuals have been on school children and people merely waiting for a train. On one occasion members of a Muslim separatist group attacked people at a remote railway station resulting in several deaths. Read the full story

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In Duel With The NRA And LaPierre Obama Loses


Many believed it would be a dramatic and historic meeting between President Obama and NRA leader Wayne LaPierre when they met at a press conference in New York this afternoon.

After a long standing feud (minus guns but about guns) between the two for the entire duration of Obama’s term, the President has finally admitted defeat and will cave in to the NRA’s demands that anybody anywhere can buy and possess guns of any make at any time they so wish. Read the full story

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Obama Lets His Bad Self Out All Over The NRA’s LaPierre


It was a phone call that President Obama didn’t want to make, but he knew he would eventually have to. He also knew that it would do little good, but that it had to be made anyway. So, on Wednesday, he did. And he was right.

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“Good day, Mr. LaPierre. How are you doing today?”

“Oh, I was OK until you called.” Read the full story

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Wayne LaPierre Ousted as NRA Pres for Being ‘Too Frenchy’


Wayne LaPierre, outspoken mouthpiece of the NRA has been removed from his position of Vice-President due to a large number of powerful members of the organization being opposed to his having ‘too Frenchy’ a name.

John Howitzer, Montana rancher and Guinness Book Of World Records holder of the record for most hunting guns possessed (legendarily he is said to have enough firepower to eliminate every creature in the state larger than a breadbox five times over) vocalized his opinion over the matter. Read the full story

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NRA’s LaPierre Holds America Hostage


Two narrowed eyes peeked out of the slats over the window that were already narrow enough by themselves. They gazed imperturbably at the scores of police and FBI agents that surrounded the NRA ranch estate in North Carolina.

Those eyes belong to Wayne LaPierre, the once clean cut, All American holy saint of the National Rifle Association, now disheveled, grizzled, crazed and no longer mincing words. Read the full story

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National Rat Association Wants to Disassociate Itself From NRA


The National Rat Association, an organization created and run by the rat population of the United States of America, is doing a big publicity campaign to disassociate itself from the notorious National Rifle Association who share the same abbreviated initials as them. Read the full story

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Florida Teachers Take the Heat, Won’t Pack It


Florida law bans guns in school so all talk about arming teachers on the job is well, a crap shoot.

In fact, for all the talk, talk, talk no such legislation (as of this date, give them time, it’s early) has yet been filed by a member of the state legislature for consideration.

Odd in itself considering that Florida is the legislative poster state for standing their ground in support of holster laws that often shoot straight to the national headlines by those who wrap themselves in the bullet proof vest of their own pistol-whip interpretation of state firearm statutes. (Case in point, the bumbling bumpkin George Zimmerman of a scenario, the self-proclaimed neighborhood watch vigilante who (allegedly) profiled, chased down, shot an out-of-towner in the form of a teenage boy and once the uh-oh set in, stood his ground to claim self-defense). Read the full story

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Bikers Ride Whole Hog for NRA


WASHINGTON DC–Motorcycle clubs across America have accepted the challenge to protect this country’s schools.

NRA executive vice president Wayne LaPierre recently stated an armed police officer be placed in every school.

America’s bikers have stepped up in “whole hog” support.

“Hell, I’ll ride up bright and early before first bell, proudly wearing school colors against my own,” stated a biker who identified himself as a Hells Angel, although proof of membership was not provided at time of interview. Read the full story

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DIY Assault Rifle Goes on Sale, Despite ACLU Support


BMB Industries has introduced the new Black Momba Assault Rifle Kit claiming, ‘it can be assembled right in the peace and comfort of your own home using simple, everyday tools.’

The Black Momba kit, model M-160-B assault rifle, will be released for sale via online retailers tomorrow and will fill the needs of descriminating first-time gun owners in time for Christmas. Read the full story

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