Tag Archive | "Allah"

Jihadist Anti-Jokes


Sinners of the World Unite!

A Jew, and Christian and an atheist walk into a bar.

How devious are the wiles of Satan, that all kafrs can agree that alcohol is permissible!

Wasting Your Time

A priest, a rabbi and a Buddhist monk are playing golf.

How saddening it is, that the debauched and depraved people of the book cannot understand that the pleasures of this world are fleeting, and the world to come is forever!

Whores Must Perish

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Fatima.

Fatima? What is your mahram doing, are they not with you?

Nah.

Remember to bring your mahram with you. I do not consort with unaccompanied, impious specimens of the female community.

Playing Chicken is Mere Idleness

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Truly, the will of Allah is inscrutable. Better not to ask such idle questions concerning the wonders of his creation. Prayer is superior to the idleness of unenlightened curiosity.

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What Would Allah Do?


If the Shi’ites were fighting the Sunni’s what would Allah want?

He say for them to lay down their arms and realize that they are brothers of the same faith.

If a Moslem country’s leaders were demonizing other countries to make them look bad, what would Allah do?

He would say ”My children, look to your own lives and the ways to improve it. Do not cast your sight abroad to look for the sins your own soul reflects.” Read the full story

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ISIS Is Looking For A Few Screwed-Up Men………And Women


A Note From The Editor- Due to current difficult economic situations and due to pressure from First Amendment Rights groups Glossy News must unfortunately include ads in our article runs. These ads do not necessarily reflect the opinions and thoughts of Glossy News or its publisher.

It could, however, reflect not only the opinions but also the half-brained philosophy of some of our writers, many of whom I personally know to be Godless Communists and flipped out weirdos. It is with extreme trepidation that the following ad is presented: Read the full story

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An Open Letter to Al Queda and its Branch Affiliates


Good day, guys. How is it going? Blow up anything fun today? Shoot your quota of infidels yet? OK, sorry you’re having a bad day.

Just a few questions I wanted to ask you guys. (I am assuming you are all guys. I doubt you’ve opened a female branch.)

Think you know the Bible? Take the GlossyNews Unbeatable Bible Quiz!

Read the full story

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God, Allah And Jehovah No Longer in Charge


God, Allah and Jehovah were walking along a heavenly path, arguing as usual.

“Your people are causing trouble again and again and again!” God scolded Allah.

“Well, if Mr. Jehovah didn’t insist on having the Jewish paradise in the middle of our land then things might be a lot more relaxed,” retorted Allah. Read the full story

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Taliban Starts Rightist Evangelical Branch in U.S.


The Taliban, recognizing the similarities between their doctrines and that of the Christian Right, have started an Evangelical Taliban branch in the U.S.

Spokesman Tali Wozati stated “Although Christian fundamentalists are heathen dogs who will burn in Hell fire for eternity, we find parts of their creed to be attractive- intolerance for anything not of your religion, repression of women, ignorance of individual rights, moral control over others and committing atrocities in the name of God to cite a few.” Read the full story

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Recession Success of Walmart, McDonalds Proves God “Kind of a Jerk”


As a sign of His contempt for mankind and its ways, God has played the biggest practical joke of all time by allowing the worst exploiters of the economy and the human work force to be the only ones making a profit in the present recession.

Both Walmart and McDonald’s have had huge profits while the rest of the economy has floundered. The masses of people, fearing layoffs, foreclosures and looming poverty have been flocking to the renowned cheap mass market outlets to save their dwindling cash reserves. Read the full story

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Posted in Biz News, ReligionismComments (1)

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