APPLETON, WI (GlossyKidsNews) – Despite attempts of wooing potential dates with dazzling wit and humor, Appleton East High School sophomore and champion “mathlete” Jon Henderson, appears to be striking out at love. “Girls should be throwing themselves at me after hearing my jokes about pi,” he complained yesterday. “They all took geometry last year, they should get it!”

Henderson feels that his self-perceived comedic charm will result in a love interest sooner or later. As he reached for his pocketed comb to better define his side part he remarked, “There is definitely a non-zero probability of finding my perfect match. With my razor sharp wit and mathematical talents… I’m a double threat.” He continued, “Even a cursory review of Cosmopolitan and Tiger Beat tells you that girls want a guy who can make them laugh.”

Even considering his confidence, Henderson admits his quest for love is an uphill battle. “It’s just like statistics,” he stated while holding back laughter, “my jokes are a little boring, but they do have their moments.”

“Ha!” “See, you don’t get it either.”