Local doctor Rory Allen, who recently completed his residency and entered private practice as a gynecologist, declared today that he can’t get over his recent good run with the opposite sex. Bespectacled Allen, 27, who admits that he’d always been a bit of a loser with the girls, says that lately he can believe how many women are throwing themselves at him.
“It’s like I’ve become an overnight babe-magnet,”, laughed the objectively unattractive Allen. “I’m telling you, every day I see more exposed lady bits than I could possibly have dreamed of just a few months ago. I don’t know if it’s my new threads, this killer body spray I’ve started using or what, but the ladies sure seem to find me irresistible.”
As evidence of his hectic social life, Allen opened his appointment diary, or “little black book” as he calls it, and revealed all the women he was scheduled to hook up with the next day. “I’ve got a married mother of three, who’s been bugging me for ages, coming in to see me at 9.30. I guarantee that within minutes of arriving she’s going to expose herself, and all I have to say is please disrobe and hop up here,” he said, pointing to a bed in his office. I kid you not,” smiled Allen.
“Then at 10.45 I’ve got another lady, a 55-year old this time, arriving as the other one dresses and leaves. I only saw this one last week, but already she’s back for more of that ‘Allen loving!’ My whole day is booked up like that man. It’s crazy.”
Allen revealed that his new Don Juan-like status has not come without an emotional cost, however. “I have to admit I feel guilty sometimes,” Allen confided, dressed in his lab coat and leaning back in his Staples office chair in the hallway alcove where he handles paperwork.
“Most of these women, who are so desperate for my attention, are married. Some are even pregnant! Sometimes I think that they should really be at home with their partners, rather than getting naked for me to check out their business, but who am I to complain about a good thing? There’s a saying, “When it rains, it pours, and right now I’m inundated in love.”
When pressed for details, Allen cited the federal confidentiality law HIPAA.
Allen’s receptionist interrupted the interview to announce the arrival of his next ‘date,’ a 63-year old woman.
“Another groupie,” sighed Allen with a wink, as he wiped the dandruff from his shoulders and applied some minty breath spray. “I’m telling you man, I’m so hot right now I have to beat them and myself off with a stick!”