My husband and I attended his brother’s daughter’s wedding. We are the very immediate family. All of my husband’s brothers and sisters (also immediate family) and their spouses were seated at the front of the room at table 1 and 2; however we were assigned seats in the very back of the room.

We were surprised and saddened by their choice to put us there. The whole family is very kind, loving and religious. There are no problems between any of us; we really love all of them. We feel so hurt. Should we address this? If so, is there a polite way to do it? I am lost and so hurt.

Lost in the Back

Dear Lost,

The question you need to ask yourself is why they seated you in the back of the room. Maybe they just don’t like you and that was their way of telling you so. Are you annoying, self-centered, untidy, or just plain ugly? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then BINGO there’s your answer, and I would suggest avoiding any public appearances from here on out. Of coarse I’m joking, mostly, and if anyone reading this takes me seriously then just take your head and stick it where the sun don’t shine. You were wronged and made to be fools in front of your family and friends and you have every right to be outraged.

Not only were you not seated in the front at one of the family tables, you were assigned to sit in the back of the room. I can understand if space was limited and not everyone could sit at table 1 or 2, however, they didn’t even make an attempt to seat you somewhat close to the front with the rest of the immediate family. Your so-called loving, caring, and religious in-laws chose to make complete asses of themselves by doing the same to you. Now it’s time to let the fun begin.

Revenge is sweet, fun, and justified. Most of the politically correct advice columnists in print would not agree with this revenge verdict, but that is because they are weak little cowards. There are several things you can do to get even:

Have your family and friends over for a party or holiday dinner, including your own personal family as well as your in-laws. When you all sit down to eat, make sure you seat your in-laws as far back in the room as possible, maybe even in another room. Better yet, have them sit at the kiddie table with the kids, assuming you or those flaming jackasses you call in-laws have any children.

You could confront them directly and ask them why they chose to embarrass you and your husband in front of everyone you know and love. If you don’t get the answer you like, throw a drink in their face and ask them again why they chose to be rude and embarrass you in front of everyone you know and love. If you still don’t get the answer you are looking for, throw another drink in their face.

Here’s yet another great way to accomplish your goal of getting even. You need to get each one of your husband’s brothers and sisters together for a little one-on-one talk, each individually and not as a group. When you are alone together talking, drop something on the floor in front them. When they bend over to pick it up, kick them in the ass. However, maybe that task would be better handled by your husband.

Donald Trump was right on when he suggested recently getting even when someone takes advantage of you. Anyone cannot deny how good it feels to get revenge. At the very least you or your husband needs to confront your family on this issue. It doesn’t matter how nice, loving, or self-righteously religious they are, if you do not get an answer, or at the very least some closure, this will eat you alive. You were wronged and it’s time to make it right.

Now go out and have a nice sunshiny day!