Search Results for: democrats
Obama’s Corndog Fiasco Equals Woe for Midwest Democrats
Hogs Butte, IA (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. In a giant miscue that could cost Democrats even more Congressional seats this November, President Obama revealed he is “no big fan” of corn dogs, a favored…
GOP Takes Issue with Democrats Breathing In or Out
RICHMOND, Virginia (GlossyNews) — In a statement today endorsed by Republicans in both the Senate and the House, the entire Republican party has taken issue with the breathing patterns of Democrats. “We feel that once again the Democrats are flip-flopping…
Democrats Turn to Religion to Pray for Palin’s Demise
San Francisco, CA (GlossyNews) — “I never thought I would pray for somebody to flat-out die,“ said liberal turned Christian, Marty Hayes. “But I’ve been praying hard for this one. I can’t stand to hear Palin’s voice, it sounds like…
Democrats Reaching Out to Werewolves
Washington DC (GlossyNews) — Speaker Pelosi this week followed triumph with triumph, again displaying her political acumen by securing the coveted Werewolf vote. The move stunned even Pelosi’s harshest critics speechless, shaking their heads in grudging admiration. A visibly euphoric…
Democrats Euthanize Elderly to Make Snack Foods
Macon, GA (GlossyNews) — Intrepid FOX News reporters have uncovered a heinous Left Wing plot to do in America’s older generation. While many were declaring the hard right’s scary threats that the Left was going to let older citizens die…
Democrats Declare 36-Month Hiatus to Bask in Waning Minutes of Glory
House Democrats, ostensibly “led” by Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, have decided to sit out the rest of their lame-duck majority, citing “difficulty in passing any legislation at all,” now that minority Republicans have announced their determination to filibuster every…
Senate Democrats Should be Sent to Reform School
In the wake of the systematic butchering of the Senate version of the health care reform bill almost single-handedly by Sen. Joe Lieberman (Dem/Ind/Rep/Lib-CN), it has been suggested that not only Lieberman, but all Democrats should be sent to Reform…
Incoming House Judiciary Chairman Jim Jordan vowed to investigate the “liberal, Democrat plot to deny patriotic Americans Fauci Footballs during Christmas.”
Speaking in front of a Christmas tree, with rifles dangling from the branches, he said: “We are still a capitalist nation. So, God-fearing patriots should have been able to buy Fauci Footballs for their children to kick around during Christmas.”…
More Presidential Campaign Announcements Tweeted from The Donald: Today and the Next 50 Years
Presidential Election Announcements as the Great Awakening Plays Out (President / VicePresident)2024: Donald Trump / Ivanka Trump2028: *Ivanka Trump / Donnie Trump, Jr.2032: *Ivanka Trump /Jared Kushner2036: *Jared Kushner/ Tiffany Trump2040: Kim Guilfoyle / Eric Trump2044: Barron Trump / Donald…
Twentysomething Trumper Pick-up Lines Courting Foxy Babes To Make America GRATE Again
• Can I be like the Biden economy and crash at YOUR place? • It’s fake news YOU can live without me. • YOU steal my heart like lefties stole the ‘20 election. • Forever looking for the right woman,…