Posted in Health Politics

Obama’s Corndog Fiasco Equals Woe for Midwest Democrats

Hogs Butte, IA (GlossyNews) — On the campaign trail with Norbert B. Snortwhistle. In a giant miscue that could cost Democrats even more Congressional seats this November, President Obama revealed he is “no big fan” of corn dogs, a favored…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama’s Corndog Fiasco Equals Woe for Midwest Democrats
Posted in Politics

GOP Takes Issue with Democrats Breathing In or Out

RICHMOND, Virginia (GlossyNews) — In a statement today endorsed by Republicans in both the Senate and the House, the entire Republican party has taken issue with the breathing patterns of Democrats. “We feel that once again the Democrats are flip-flopping…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! GOP Takes Issue with Democrats Breathing In or Out
Posted in Politics

Democrats Turn to Religion to Pray for Palin’s Demise

San Francisco, CA (GlossyNews) — “I never thought I would pray for somebody to flat-out die,“ said liberal turned Christian, Marty Hayes. “But I’ve been praying hard for this one. I can’t stand to hear Palin’s voice, it sounds like…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Democrats Turn to Religion to Pray for Palin’s Demise
Posted in Politics

Democrats Reaching Out to Werewolves

Washington DC (GlossyNews) — Speaker Pelosi this week followed triumph with triumph, again displaying her political acumen by securing the coveted Werewolf vote. The move stunned even Pelosi’s harshest critics speechless, shaking their heads in grudging admiration. A visibly euphoric…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Democrats Reaching Out to Werewolves
Posted in Health

Democrats Euthanize Elderly to Make Snack Foods

Macon, GA (GlossyNews) — Intrepid FOX News reporters have uncovered a heinous Left Wing plot to do in America’s older generation. While many were declaring the hard right’s scary threats that the Left was going to let older citizens die…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Democrats Euthanize Elderly to Make Snack Foods
Posted in News In Your Briefs

Democrats Declare 36-Month Hiatus to Bask in Waning Minutes of Glory

House Democrats, ostensibly “led” by Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, have decided to sit out the rest of their lame-duck majority, citing “difficulty in passing any legislation at all,” now that minority Republicans have announced their determination to filibuster every…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Democrats Declare 36-Month Hiatus to Bask in Waning Minutes of Glory
Posted in Politics

Senate Democrats Should be Sent to Reform School

In the wake of the systematic butchering of the Senate version of the health care reform bill almost single-handedly by Sen. Joe Lieberman (Dem/Ind/Rep/Lib-CN), it has been suggested that not only Lieberman, but all Democrats should be sent to Reform…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Senate Democrats Should be Sent to Reform School
Posted in Politics

Incoming House Judiciary Chairman Jim Jordan vowed to investigate the “liberal, Democrat plot to deny patriotic Americans Fauci Footballs during Christmas.”

Speaking in front of a Christmas tree, with rifles dangling from the branches, he said: “We are still a capitalist nation. So, God-fearing patriots should have been able to buy Fauci Footballs for their children to kick around during Christmas.”…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Incoming House Judiciary Chairman Jim Jordan vowed to investigate the “liberal, Democrat plot to deny patriotic Americans Fauci Footballs during Christmas.”
Posted in Crime Politics

More Presidential Campaign Announcements Tweeted from The Donald: Today and the Next 50 Years

Presidential Election Announcements as the Great Awakening Plays Out (President / VicePresident)2024: Donald Trump / Ivanka Trump2028: *Ivanka Trump / Donnie Trump, Jr.2032: *Ivanka Trump /Jared Kushner2036: *Jared Kushner/ Tiffany Trump2040: Kim Guilfoyle / Eric Trump2044: Barron Trump / Donald…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! More Presidential Campaign Announcements Tweeted from The Donald: Today and the Next 50 Years
Posted in Making Headlines Top Stories

Twentysomething Trumper Pick-up Lines Courting Foxy Babes To Make America GRATE Again

•           Can I be like the Biden economy and crash at YOUR place? •           It’s fake news YOU can live without me. •           YOU steal my heart like lefties stole the ‘20 election. •           Forever looking for the right woman,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Twentysomething Trumper Pick-up Lines Courting Foxy Babes To Make America GRATE Again