<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>GlossyNews.com</title>
	<atom:link href="http://glossynews.com/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://glossynews.com</link>
	<description>Breaking Broken News</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Thu, 02 Feb 2012 23:06:24 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1</generator>
		<item>
		<title>Fidel Polled Better Than Newt in Miami</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/politicos-and-polticians/201202022036/fidel-polled-better-than-newt-in-miami/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/politicos-and-polticians/201202022036/fidel-polled-better-than-newt-in-miami/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Feb 2012 23:06:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>BobZaguy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fidel Castro]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Florida primary]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gop]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mitt Romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newt gingrich]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24184</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[MIAMI, FL —GlossyNews In a revealing, some even said shocking, poll taken after the Jacksonville GOPTea™ debate in Florida, Fidel Castro came in 4% ahead of Newt Gingrich, one of the real candidates for the presidential primary contest. The poll has a MOE of ±.025% and was conducted in the city’s central semi-residential district. People [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/politicos-and-polticians/201202022036/fidel-polled-better-than-newt-in-miami/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Punxsutawney Phil Sees Shadow; Predicts Six More Months of Newt Gingrich</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/politicos-and-polticians/201202020829/punxsutawney-phil-sees-shadow-predicts-six-more-months-of-newt-gingrich/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/politicos-and-polticians/201202020829/punxsutawney-phil-sees-shadow-predicts-six-more-months-of-newt-gingrich/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:59:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>P. Beckert</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Groundhog Day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newt gingrich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paul the Octopus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[predictions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Punxsutawney Phil]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rodents]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24210</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Folks in Pennsylvania have been complaining for years about all the taxpayer money they spend on lavishing their resident star groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, with the best hole in the county and some of the finest fruits and vegetables around. For what they’re spending, they don’t feel they are getting much more than a quick peek [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/politicos-and-polticians/201202020829/punxsutawney-phil-sees-shadow-predicts-six-more-months-of-newt-gingrich/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Ringling Brothers Circus Sues Republicans And Democrats Over Rights ToThe Title &#8220;Greatest Circus  On Earth&#8221;.</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/201201301928/ringling-brothers-circus-sues-republicans-and-democrats-over-rights-tothe-title-greatest-circus-on-earth/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/201201301928/ringling-brothers-circus-sues-republicans-and-democrats-over-rights-tothe-title-greatest-circus-on-earth/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Jan 2012 21:58:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rfreed</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Strange People]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Top Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Biden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[circus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gingrich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Greatest Show On Earth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ringling Brothers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24141</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ringling Brothers Circus is suing both the Republican and Democratic Parties for infringements on the copyright claim of running &#8216;The Biggest Circus In The World&#8217;. The Ringling Brothers, for a century the largest traveling circus on the circuit, is now upset that the two Presidential Parties are now cutting into their business. “Our clowns are [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/201201301928/ringling-brothers-circus-sues-republicans-and-democrats-over-rights-tothe-title-greatest-circus-on-earth/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Aging Gingrich Sucking Life Out of Youthful Santorum Race</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/politicos-and-polticians/201201201958/aging-gingrich-sucking-life-out-of-youthful-santorum-race/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/politicos-and-polticians/201201201958/aging-gingrich-sucking-life-out-of-youthful-santorum-race/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 20 Jan 2012 22:28:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>P. Beckert</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[2012]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[elections]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gop]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newt gingrich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rick Santorum]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vampires]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24180</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Volunteers for GOP candidate Rick Santorum say they are growing more tired by the day trying to come up with good things to say about Newt Gingrich in order to keep the Gingrich/Santorum tag team going against candidate Mitt Romney. “At first we thought, ok, Newt is a bright dude, he has a bit more [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/politicos-and-polticians/201201201958/aging-gingrich-sucking-life-out-of-youthful-santorum-race/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>North Korea To Recycle Kim</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/unamerican-world-news/201201151108/north-korea-to-recycle-kim/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/unamerican-world-news/201201151108/north-korea-to-recycle-kim/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 15 Jan 2012 13:38:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>BobZaguy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[World News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kim Chee]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kim Jong Il]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kim Jong-Un]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kimchi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[North Korea. Soylent Green]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pupu platter]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24157</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[PYONGYANG, North Korea —GlossyNews The government of North Korea announced on Thursday that it would place the embalmed body of recently passed Kim Jong-il on permanent display next to his father&#8217;s body at Kumsusan Palace in Pyongyang and install his statues, portraits and memorial Towers of Eternal Life across the country. Almost as an afterthought, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/unamerican-world-news/201201151108/north-korea-to-recycle-kim/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Recycling Republicans</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/science-and-technology/computers-and-technology/201201121931/recycling-republicans/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/science-and-technology/computers-and-technology/201201121931/recycling-republicans/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Jan 2012 22:01:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rfreed</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Conservative Think Tank]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gingrich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mad scientists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Presidential ellection 2012]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reagan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[republicans]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24139</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[SCENARIO- A secret laboratory deep underground beneath the American Heritage Think Tank And Karaoke Lounge in Washington. It is a room filled with strange scientific paraphernalia- tubes transporting strangely colored liquids run here and there connecting into buzzing machines. Varied colored indicator lights flicker on and off. All of these things seem to center upon [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/science-and-technology/computers-and-technology/201201121931/recycling-republicans/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Steve Jobs returns as Hologram</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/science-and-technology/computers-and-technology/201201080956/steve-jobs-returns-as-hologram/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/science-and-technology/computers-and-technology/201201080956/steve-jobs-returns-as-hologram/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 08 Jan 2012 12:26:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Liberties-Taken</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Technology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[apple]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[computer technology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[holograms]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ipad]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[iphone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[steve jobs]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24137</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Apple Inc. announced today its founder did not ‘go gentle into that good night.’ Instead, Steve re-booted. Developer Etta Place told reporters, “We don’t hawk that ‘quantum leap forward’ jazz; we’re not Microsoft. Our work speaks for itself. What we’ve accomplished is Virtual Cloning.” Ms. Place went on to explain VC had been a 2019 [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/science-and-technology/computers-and-technology/201201080956/steve-jobs-returns-as-hologram/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Anderson Cooper Set to Propose to Kathy Griffin at Midnight</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/entertainment/celebrity-gossip/201112311045/anderson-cooper-set-to-propose-to-kathy-griffin-at-midnight/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/entertainment/celebrity-gossip/201112311045/anderson-cooper-set-to-propose-to-kathy-griffin-at-midnight/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 31 Dec 2011 13:15:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>P. Beckert</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrity Gossip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Anderson Cooper]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Dick Clark]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kathy Griffin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[New Year's Eve]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ryan seacrest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[times square]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24123</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Well, folks, you can stop wondering whether (1) Anderson Cooper is gay; (2) Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin are dating; (3) Kathy Griffin is really a guy; or (4) Kathy Griffin is really a guy, gay and dating Anderson Cooper who is also gay, because, evidently, after the ball drops in Times Square tonight, Cooper [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/entertainment/celebrity-gossip/201112311045/anderson-cooper-set-to-propose-to-kathy-griffin-at-midnight/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>21</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>An Up Close Look at Australian Animals From Hell</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/science-and-technology/science/201112282019/an-up-close-look-at-australian-animals-from-hell/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/science-and-technology/science/201112282019/an-up-close-look-at-australian-animals-from-hell/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Dec 2011 22:49:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rfreed</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Science]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abominable snowman]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Australia]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[creatures]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kangaroos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wallaby]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24118</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[No, I am not going to write about kangaroos. I am not that cheap. Everybody who wants to write funny stories about Australia writes about kangaroos. I refuse to stoop that low. They are too easy a target, too cheap a shot. I will, however, write about koala bears. I may not be cheap, but [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/science-and-technology/science/201112282019/an-up-close-look-at-australian-animals-from-hell/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>8</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Random Pointlessness Takes the World by Storm</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/sports/201112260959/random-pointlessness-takes-the-world-by-storm/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/sports/201112260959/random-pointlessness-takes-the-world-by-storm/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 26 Dec 2011 12:29:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Leon Hostetler</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[football]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[philosophers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[scientists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[superbowl]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24014</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Denizens of the universe have apparently discovered a favorite new sport. Called “Random Pointlessness”, or RP for short, this sport involves a fair amount of hard work and sweat, but nothing remotely resembling intelligence. Random Pointlessness was invented in Pennsylvania where it quickly surpassed football as the most boring thing to watch on television. Inevitably, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/sports/201112260959/random-pointlessness-takes-the-world-by-storm/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Despot Job Loss Linked to Obamanomics</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/201112240703/despot-job-loss-linked-to-obamanomics/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/201112240703/despot-job-loss-linked-to-obamanomics/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 24 Dec 2011 09:33:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Liberties-Taken</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Top Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[despot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Prince]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prince charles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Queen Elizabeth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sharia Law]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Venezuela]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24106</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In yet another bad sign for President Obama, dictator unemployment numbers rose sharply again this month. Partisans at both ends of the political spectrum were quick to take expected stances, but all agree on one thing. Tyrants have been among the hardest hit in a global recession that shows little signs of abating. In a [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/201112240703/despot-job-loss-linked-to-obamanomics/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Prisons Change to Blue Flannel Jumpsuits; Shankings Down</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/society/crime/201112202026/prisons-change-to-blue-flannel-jumpsuits-shankings-down/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/society/crime/201112202026/prisons-change-to-blue-flannel-jumpsuits-shankings-down/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 20 Dec 2011 22:56:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>P. Beckert</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Crime]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jail]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pajamas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prison]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prisoners]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shankings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Snuggie]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24090</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Lee Henry Morgan, Warden at California’s San Quentin Prison is breathing a sigh of relief these days as the number of shankings in this infamously dangerous prison have decreased greatly over the past several months. “I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes,” said Morgan of the almost humane [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/society/crime/201112202026/prisons-change-to-blue-flannel-jumpsuits-shankings-down/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Residents of Heaven Complain about Lack of Freedom</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/society/religion/201112182104/residents-of-heaven-complain-about-lack-of-freedom/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/society/religion/201112182104/residents-of-heaven-complain-about-lack-of-freedom/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 18 Dec 2011 23:34:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Leon Hostetler</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Religionism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[angels]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[god]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[good behavior]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heaven]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hell]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24021</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Residents of a community somewhere in southern California are coming forward with serious allegations of discrimination, forced behavior, and restrictions on personal freedom. Compared by its residents to ‘prison’ the community apparently forces them to wear white robes at all times and to sing hymns for the community’s dictatorial administrator. That’s not the worst of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/society/religion/201112182104/residents-of-heaven-complain-about-lack-of-freedom/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Local Man Masters Art of Making Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201112172039/local-man-masters-art-of-making-peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201112172039/local-man-masters-art-of-making-peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Dec 2011 23:09:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Sean Myers</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Human Interest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[academics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[book]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jelly]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lunch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[peanut butter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[study]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=23958</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s the staple of grade school students. The standby for financially-strapped college students. The sign that a husband has done something wrong when he opens the brown-bagged lunch his wife made him that morning. It’s also the focus of David Valin’s research for the past 4 years, which he’ll [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201112172039/local-man-masters-art-of-making-peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Newt Reveals &#8216;Cart Before Horse&#8217; Campaign</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/politicos-and-polticians/201112152011/newt-reveals-cart-before-horse-campaign/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/politicos-and-polticians/201112152011/newt-reveals-cart-before-horse-campaign/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 15 Dec 2011 22:41:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>BobZaguy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Callista Gingrich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Iowa]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Newt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newt gingrich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[south carolina]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tiffany's]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Trodd Beete]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24067</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[DES MOINES, IA —GlossyNews GOPTea Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich proposes to mount a nationwide nomination strategy without the use of a strong professional campaign staff. He says all he has is Callista. Gingrich freely admits it is a dizzy idea. &#8220;It&#8217;s Callista and I against them all. We’re hauling in office furniture right now, and [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/politicos-and-polticians/201112152011/newt-reveals-cart-before-horse-campaign/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>
<!-- WP Super Cache is installed but broken. The path to wp-cache-phase1.php in wp-content/advanced-cache.php must be fixed! -->
