Democratic National Convention to Premiere Joe Biden Reality TV Show

Charlotte, North Carolina – A week before the Democratic National Convention is scheduled to start, leaked sources indicated that the convention will feature a premiere of Joe Biden’s new reality TV show, Joe the Vice President.

It aims to be the “most epic” reality show, says Biden.

The show’s format will be Joe Biden traveling the country, performing random jobs and duties normally done by ordinary citizens. After the leak, Biden has been giving multiple interviews at press junkets and conferences.

When asked about the name, Joe the Vice President, Biden explained “I never liked it. I was pushing really hard for the name Joey and the network was all like, ‘there was a failed sitcom by that name.’ Chumps. I guess it’s supposed to be a play on that one guy, Joe the Plumber, except you don’t see him around any more, do you? It’s whatever. Working with network executives makes me miss having to deal with politicians. Ha! Am I right? Up top!”

Biden also stated on a popular late night talk show, “I didn’t even want to do the stupid job thing, that was the network’s idea. I wanted to have a show like The Bachelor. Except instead of having to pick just one, I get to pick as many as I want and go paint the town red. I think Americans would rather watch how Joe Biden gets down, but no, they wanted to do the stupid Mike Rowe thing. It’s been done. I tell ya, I gotta fire my agent.”

The show is scheduled to air on E!, the entertainment network, the week after the Democratic National Convention. President Obama’s campaign manager Jim Messina told reporters that “We realize that there has been a certain lack of communication when it comes to our policies and positions on a lot of key issues, but the president is busy running the free world at the moment.

“Since day one, Joe Biden has been our ambassador to the average joe. That’s why we’re sending him through America, to show that this cabinet cares about the work required to make this country great.”

Critics appear skeptical of whether or not the reality TV angle is an effective way to connect with the American Population. Republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, attacked the idea as “irresponsible” and “all around unwatchable.” He went on to add, “I hope TV Guide gives him a good jeering.”

David Axlerod, the president’s communications director, described other benefits to the show. With Joe Biden making lewd gestures behind him, Axlerod explained, “We just gotta have something for him to do. He is constantly disrupting important meetings by playing ‘the floor is lava’ in the oval office, and I wish that was the worst of it. The other day he just left when I asked him to organize his Xbox games after he had them spread out all over the place. If I have to pick up one more empty malt liquor bottle, I’m going to scream. We just needed to prioritize and utilize the assets he has. I think reality TV is the way to do it.”

Author: Jason Velez

I'm a stand-up comedian, author of "The Alphabet of Everything I Hate," an artist of sorts, and a rouge writer who's got a weird thing for oxford commas... like, really weird. Like three x's weird. Follow me @velezerraptor on twitter

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