Ever since her gold medal-winning performance at the Olympic Games, millions of people throughout the world have been searching Google and other search engines for nude pictures of 16-year-old Gabby Douglas to no avail.
“There’s a lot of perverts out there,” said Google CEO Larry Page. “To the best of my knowledge, there are no legitimate photos of Gabby nude or even in her underwear.”
Other search engine executives agreed with Page. “I have seen some doctored photos but nothing real,” said rival search engine Bing Chief Marketing Officer Chris Copassela. “I’m hoping Bing can be the first search engine to have those photos when they become available.”
Gabby claims she has no intention of displaying her nude body anytime soon. “What are people thinking? I’m only 16!”
Former child star Miley Cyrus was sympathetic to Gabby’s plight. “People have been looking for nude pictures of me since I was 14!” the youthful singer complained.
“This is just sick,” Page stated. “Why are you even writing this story?”
The writer of this story was unavailable for comment.
I don’t know who Gabby is?
Gentlemen! Certainly there are others, besides Brian, who are searching Google for this subject at this very moment!
Why would you even need nude pics? You stared between her legs for weeks now. You KNOW she’s not even fully developed yet.
If you’re aching for some athletic muff, I’ve got a link to Serena Williams wearing noting but a shoe string with two quarters tied together and an adult diaper. Believe me, that adult diaper looks like a thong on her. Wanna see it?
Dude. You realize that she’s 16, right?
I… I would also wait for this. I’m sorry, but I would.