Toddler Avidly Ruining Around Three Books A Week

INDIANAPOLIS – Despite the inherent allure of mainstream video games, Marvel action figures and children’s television, 3-year-old Nathan LaPlant still manages to find the time to graffiti, on average, three books a week, say the child’s parents.

While his older brother Dane is routinely playing soccer in the back yard, little Nathan is said to be more than happy just sitting down with a copy of Spot’s Greatest Adventure, a book he has now torn the shit out of seven times.

“It’s not often you see Nathan without several pieces of a book in his hand,” said the boy’s 29-year-old father, Jonathan. “I”d say he avidly wrecks around seven coloring books a month, and maybe five problem solving books. I’m not kidding, Nathan is… he’s special.”

Even though he rather enjoys the odd Disney movie now and again, the toddler is believed to prefer the book versions of stories like Tarzan, Madagascar and Tangled, if only because the characters are “far more susceptible to merciless, wild scribbling.”

“Once he finds a book that he likes, he will not put it down until every last page has been destroyed beyond all recognition,” said his mother, Annette. “He’s always so excited to see how the book’s existence will end.”

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.

1 thought on “Toddler Avidly Ruining Around Three Books A Week

  1. Having had more than my share of toddlers (long story, I'll fill you in when I ever get a minute to breathe,) and I can tell you this story is NOT satire. Though you did forget about avidly ruining walls, carpets, clothes and "things with surfaces"… yeah, that should pretty much sum it up.

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