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	<title>GlossyNews.com &#187; Society</title>
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	<link>http://glossynews.com</link>
	<description>Breaking Broken News</description>
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		<title>Ringling Brothers Circus Sues Republicans And Democrats Over Rights ToThe Title &#8220;Greatest Circus  On Earth&#8221;.</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/201201301928/ringling-brothers-circus-sues-republicans-and-democrats-over-rights-tothe-title-greatest-circus-on-earth/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/201201301928/ringling-brothers-circus-sues-republicans-and-democrats-over-rights-tothe-title-greatest-circus-on-earth/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 30 Jan 2012 21:58:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rfreed</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Strange People]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Top Stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Biden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[circus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gingrich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Greatest Show On Earth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ringling Brothers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24141</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Ringling Brothers Circus is suing both the Republican and Democratic Parties for infringements on the copyright claim of running &#8216;The Biggest Circus In The World&#8217;. The Ringling Brothers, for a century the largest traveling circus on the circuit, is now upset that the two Presidential Parties are now cutting into their business. “Our clowns are [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/top-stories/201201301928/ringling-brothers-circus-sues-republicans-and-democrats-over-rights-tothe-title-greatest-circus-on-earth/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Prisons Change to Blue Flannel Jumpsuits; Shankings Down</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/society/crime/201112202026/prisons-change-to-blue-flannel-jumpsuits-shankings-down/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/society/crime/201112202026/prisons-change-to-blue-flannel-jumpsuits-shankings-down/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 20 Dec 2011 22:56:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>P. Beckert</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Crime]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jail]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pajamas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prison]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[prisoners]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shankings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Snuggie]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24090</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Lee Henry Morgan, Warden at California’s San Quentin Prison is breathing a sigh of relief these days as the number of shankings in this infamously dangerous prison have decreased greatly over the past several months. “I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes,” said Morgan of the almost humane [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/society/crime/201112202026/prisons-change-to-blue-flannel-jumpsuits-shankings-down/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Residents of Heaven Complain about Lack of Freedom</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/society/religion/201112182104/residents-of-heaven-complain-about-lack-of-freedom/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/society/religion/201112182104/residents-of-heaven-complain-about-lack-of-freedom/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 18 Dec 2011 23:34:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Leon Hostetler</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Religionism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[angels]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[god]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[good behavior]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[heaven]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hell]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=24021</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Residents of a community somewhere in southern California are coming forward with serious allegations of discrimination, forced behavior, and restrictions on personal freedom. Compared by its residents to ‘prison’ the community apparently forces them to wear white robes at all times and to sing hymns for the community’s dictatorial administrator. That’s not the worst of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/society/religion/201112182104/residents-of-heaven-complain-about-lack-of-freedom/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Local Man Masters Art of Making Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201112172039/local-man-masters-art-of-making-peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201112172039/local-man-masters-art-of-making-peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 17 Dec 2011 23:09:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Sean Myers</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Human Interest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[academics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[book]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jelly]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lunch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[peanut butter]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[study]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=23958</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The peanut butter and jelly sandwich. It’s the staple of grade school students. The standby for financially-strapped college students. The sign that a husband has done something wrong when he opens the brown-bagged lunch his wife made him that morning. It’s also the focus of David Valin’s research for the past 4 years, which he’ll [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201112172039/local-man-masters-art-of-making-peanut-butter-and-jelly-sandwich/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Secret Manifesto Found Jammed In Michigan Capitol Front Door</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201110131939/23920/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201110131939/23920/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Oct 2011 22:09:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>rfreed</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Human Interest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michigan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Scott Walker]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stolen land]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Toledo Strip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Upper Peninsula]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wisconsin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=23920</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The following was found jammed in the Michigan State Capitol Building front door by a janitor arriving early for work on Monday: MANIFESTO FOR THE LIBERATION OF THE UPPER PENINSULA FROM THE TYRANNY OF THE STATE OF MICHIGAN AND RETURNING IT TO ITS PROPER PLACE AS AN APPENDAGE OF WISCONSIN. Let this document stand as [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201110131939/23920/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>6</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Local Woman Saves Planet by Allowing Satan to Dwell in Her Abscessed Tooth</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201109300110/local-woman-saves-planet-by-allowing-satan-to-dwell-in-her-abscessed-tooth/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201109300110/local-woman-saves-planet-by-allowing-satan-to-dwell-in-her-abscessed-tooth/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 30 Sep 2011 03:40:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>P. Beckert</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Human Interest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abscess]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dentist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[devil]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gop]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[impact tooth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[satan]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=23847</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“The pain, Thweet Jethuth the pain,” yelled Cloris Zucker as the dentist poked around in her mouth trying to find the source of her discomfort. He started out innocently enough, beginning on the left side and working his way over to the right. “This one?” asked the dentist? “Noph,” replied Cloris. “This’n?” He asked as [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201109300110/local-woman-saves-planet-by-allowing-satan-to-dwell-in-her-abscessed-tooth/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Humor Blog Owes Success to Worldwide Spammers</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/entertainment/internet/201109292016/humor-blog-owes-success-to-worldwide-spammers/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/entertainment/internet/201109292016/humor-blog-owes-success-to-worldwide-spammers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 29 Sep 2011 22:46:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tim Jones</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Human Interest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Internets Tubes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bloggers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spam]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spammers]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=23822</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ROCKY MOUNT, NC – A 37-year old unemployed factory worker turned humor blogger is reportedly thrilled by recent praise his previously unknown humor blog has received. Avowed bachelor and longtime fan of Wheel of Fortune, Buford Quigley told reporters today that he is “as happy as a dead pig in sunshine” over the overwhelming positive [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/entertainment/internet/201109292016/humor-blog-owes-success-to-worldwide-spammers/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Sociologists Claim Geniuses Will Take Over World by 2040</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201109231222/sociologists-claim-geniuses-will-take-over-world-by-2040/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201109231222/sociologists-claim-geniuses-will-take-over-world-by-2040/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 Sep 2011 14:52:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Leon Hostetler</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Human Interest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[AI]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[artificial intelligence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[genius]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intelligence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sociology]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=23669</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Psychologists have recently discovered a disturbing strain of statistically abnormal humans living among us. Allegedly, these genetic mutants have advanced intelligence with I.Q.&#8217;s towering as much as 80 points above the rest of us normal people. They have been tentatively dubbed “geniuses.” At this point it is not clear whether the geniuses were engineered by [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201109231222/sociologists-claim-geniuses-will-take-over-world-by-2040/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Behavioral Therapy Teaches Polite Driver How to Be an Asshole</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201109221558/behavioral-therapy-teaches-polite-driver-how-to-be-an-asshole/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201109221558/behavioral-therapy-teaches-polite-driver-how-to-be-an-asshole/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Sep 2011 18:28:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Chason Gordon</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Human Interest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[asshole]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[car]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[depression]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[driver]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[therapy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[traffic]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=23769</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Paul Franklin is known to be a very nice and generous driver, but he recently confessed to friends that the reason he lets everyone go is because he has nowhere to be. “I used to think I was a nice driver, but I realized I just have low self esteem,” said Franklin, laying down on [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201109221558/behavioral-therapy-teaches-polite-driver-how-to-be-an-asshole/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Gang of 70-Year Olds on Mobility Scooters Terrorizing Orlando Tourists</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201109210550/gang-of-70-year-olds-on-mobility-scooters-terrorizing-orlando-tourists/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201109210550/gang-of-70-year-olds-on-mobility-scooters-terrorizing-orlando-tourists/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Sep 2011 08:20:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>P. Beckert</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Crime]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Human Interest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[elderly]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mobility scooters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Orlando]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[personal scooters]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[septuagenarians]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[terrorists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tourists]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=23665</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The streets of some of Orlando’s most popular tourist destinations are being randomly terrorized by a gang of septuagenarians on mobility scooters. The gang, calling itself the 7 T’s, has so far escaped the law by ducking into restaurants during early bird special time, removing their gang regalia in the bathrooms, and then ordering meals [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201109210550/gang-of-70-year-olds-on-mobility-scooters-terrorizing-orlando-tourists/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>UK to Smokers: Try #2 Pencils</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/society/health/201109160552/uk-to-smokers-try-2-pencils/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/society/health/201109160552/uk-to-smokers-try-2-pencils/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 16 Sep 2011 08:22:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>BobZaguy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cancersticks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Cigarettes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lung cancer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PENCILS]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[smoking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stop smoking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[UK]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=20957</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Cabinet officer says pencil substitution now proven to reduce smoking-related deaths. LONDON, ENGLAND —GLOSSYNEWS The UK Cabinet Office wants cigarette smokers to start biting on #2 pencils to replace the cigs they are smoking,in order to lower the numbers of deaths caused by smoking disease each year. The Office wants every smoker to adopt their [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/society/health/201109160552/uk-to-smokers-try-2-pencils/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Camping Not Sure How He Missed Predicting Own Stroke</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/society/religion/201109120538/camping-not-sure-how-he-missed-predicting-own-stroke/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/society/religion/201109120538/camping-not-sure-how-he-missed-predicting-own-stroke/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 12 Sep 2011 08:08:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>BobZaguy</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Religionism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Glock]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[GOPTea party]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Harold Camping]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ObamaConomy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[raffle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rapture]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rience Prebus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stroke]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=19170</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[SOUTH OAKLAND, CA —Glossy News Harold Camping [the American Christian radio host who falsely prophesied that the world would end on May 21] suffered a stroke in June but is slowly recovering. Acting on God&#8217;s advice, he will soon be able to return home. Mr. and Mrs. Camping expressed their thankfulness for his stroke rehab [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/society/religion/201109120538/camping-not-sure-how-he-missed-predicting-own-stroke/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>28</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Take Back America Do-It-Yourself Self-Government Tool Kit</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/society/201109110515/the-take-back-america-do-it-yourself-self-government-tool-kit/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/society/201109110515/the-take-back-america-do-it-yourself-self-government-tool-kit/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 11 Sep 2011 07:45:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Tim Jones</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Society]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[America]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[government]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gun control]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[liberty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-government]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=19109</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Does the depressed economy have you feeling DOWN!!!!??? Are you concerned because our government can’t seem to solve our spiraling debt crisis? Confused about how to end the stalemate between Republicans and Democrats over how to restore America’s former greatness and still balance the budget? Well, worry no more. Now, you can finally break the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/society/201109110515/the-take-back-america-do-it-yourself-self-government-tool-kit/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Man Experiences Superhuman Strength And Lifts Remote</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201109071939/man-experiences-superhuman-strength-and-lifts-remote/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201109071939/man-experiences-superhuman-strength-and-lifts-remote/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Sep 2011 22:09:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Ashley Watson</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Human Interest]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[beer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[couch potato]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[labor day]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[laziness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[remote control]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[superhuman strength]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=19255</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Clearwater, FL—Local Comcast technician, Mike Haynes, reportedly experienced superhuman strength after nine hours of television on Saturday. Between the eye strain and sore arm muscles from lifting over 18 cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon, Haynes wasn’t sure if he’d have the strength left to pick up the remote to change the channel. “I&#8217;ve heard about [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/society/human-interest/201109071939/man-experiences-superhuman-strength-and-lifts-remote/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>California Bans Bacon!</title>
		<link>http://glossynews.com/society/health/201109020521/california-bans-bacon/</link>
		<comments>http://glossynews.com/society/health/201109020521/california-bans-bacon/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 02 Sep 2011 07:51:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>P. Beckert</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Health]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bacon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bacon burger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[California]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[clogged arteries]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Governor Jerry Brown]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthy food]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tofu]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://glossynews.com/?p=18970</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The California State Legislature has finally passed a bill banning all bacon and bacon-like products from the shelves of supermarkets and restaurants across the state in an effort to get Californians back on the healthy track. California is the first, and possibly the only state to take such drastic steps to protect its citizens from [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://glossynews.com/society/health/201109020521/california-bans-bacon/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
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