Archive | Opinon/Editorial

London’s Olympics Opening Ceremony vs Beijing’s Olympics Opening Ceremony

London’s Olympics Opening Ceremony vs Beijing’s Olympics Opening Ceremony

I got up at 3:30 AM this morning here in China in great anticipation for the London Olympics Opening Ceremony. England had a greater budget to prepare for this show than China had, and the English had great hopes that London’s Opening Ceremony show would beat that of Beijing’s.

I always had doubts that the British can beat the Chinese’s cosmetic perfection, individual discipline, 20,000 cast members, technological breakthroughs, and 5,000 years of history, culture, and philosophies. Continue Reading

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Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Serious Commentary2 Comments

Nation’s Debt Crisis Solved – No Need to Thank me – Conclusion

Nation’s Debt Crisis Solved – No Need to Thank me – Conclusion

Previously, I shared several brilliant ways we can pay down the nation’s debt. But I was just getting started. I saved my best ideas for last.

Mount Rushmore: $8.2 billion. Comes with lifelike sculptures of three of our greatest presidents (plus Theodore Roosevelt). There’s even room for one more face. What better way to show your father you love him next Father’s Day than by carving his likeness right next to Honest Abe’s.

For just $3 billion more, you can even replace Thomas Jefferson with your own likeness (this offer not available to recently dethroned African or Middle Eastern Dictators). Continue Reading

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Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Politics2 Comments

Nation’s Debt Crisis Solved – No Need to Thank Me

Nation’s Debt Crisis Solved – No Need to Thank Me

Here’s a number that might scare you: $14,132,959,955,340. That’s 14 trillion dollars, give or take a few hundred billion. That’s the current estimate of our national debt according to the OMB (Office of Management and Budget). Here’s a slightly smaller but equally frightening number: $1 million. Continue Reading

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Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Politics0 Comments

What’s Harder Than Voting for “The Other Guy”

What’s Harder Than Voting for “The Other Guy”

I have discovered what the hardest thing any person will ever have to do in life is. The hardest things in life is biting into a person’s homemade cookie and trying not to show any signs of how bad you think it tastes in front of them.

Yes, you all heard me correctly. Can you imagine the difficulty of biting into some kind of substance that has been passed off as a cookie and realizing how absolutely horrible it tastes, but not being able to show any signs of it? Continue Reading

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Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Politics0 Comments

Jedi Masters Just Ain’t What They Used To Be

Jedi Masters Just Ain’t What They Used To Be

Sigh! Jedi Masters just ain’t what they used to be!

At one time they were of the caliber of Sir Alec Guiness, the original Obi-Wan Kenobi, a proven hero whose name had the extra fortification of being the same as a famous beer. But in today’s world (or should that be tomorrow’s world since it is science fiction- no, wait! These Star Wars films all happened “long, long ago in a galaxy for, far away”- make that yesterday’s world) their backgrounds are a bit murky. Continue Reading

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Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Strange People1 Comment

Notes On Tolerance — Welcome to Reality

Notes On Tolerance — Welcome to Reality

It happened recently, after a long day of free-speech-practicing, that I had occasion to give advice to a person much younger than myself regarding language. This young person, though potentially very bright, was experiencing some confusion over the ubiquity of certain charged words in the media.

It upset her that persons said to be well-educated were so tolerant of words and phrases she deemed offensive. Continue Reading

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Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Society0 Comments

Sarah Palin Perfectly (Pant-)Suited for Supreme Court

Sarah Palin Perfectly (Pant-)Suited for Supreme Court

News-Ruse hereby endorses former Alaska governor and vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin to fill the next vacancy on the U.S. Supreme Court.

We at News-Ruse know that Palin is not a lawyer but the Supreme Court already has lawyers. Look at Clarence Thomas. We believe he is a lawyer, although since he doesn’t talk it is hard to be sure. Continue Reading

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Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Politics0 Comments

Disclaimers & Vegetarians – One (Correct) Opinion

Disclaimers & Vegetarians – One (Correct) Opinion

Sometimes you’ll see the disclaimer, “No animals were harmed during the making of this film”, at the end of a movie. I think that’s a rather bold statement. I’m watching the movie thinking, “I know for a fact around the time they were making this movie that I ran over a squirrel and accidently locked my cat in a closet over a weekend.” Continue Reading

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Posted in Health, Opinon/Editorial0 Comments

Top 15 Tips to Surviving Office Life

Top 15 Tips to Surviving Office Life

Everyone knows how stressful an office environment can be. Work can be hard enough without having to deal with co-workers and office equipment. But the hits just keep on coming, and the hours seem longer and longer. The following list contains 15 pointers that will help you survive your days at the office.

TOP 15 OFFICE SURVIVAL TIPS Continue Reading

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Posted in Biz News, Opinon/Editorial0 Comments

Open Letter to Undermining, Commie-Pinko Socialists

Open Letter to Undermining, Commie-Pinko Socialists

IMPORTANT – IF YOU ARE NOT A CARD CARRYING MEMBER OF “CONFEDERATION OF SOCIALISTS INTENT ON BRINGING DOWN THE CAPITALIST DRAGON AMERICA”, THEN DO NOT READ THIS…

Comrades!
The situation is dire!
Our plans lay fast in rubble before us!

Our goal to subjugate the great capitalistic tyrant the United States and lead them to the glories of socialism has run aground. The attempt to sneak Marx-Engels philosophies into the pattern of American politics has been uncovered again and again by the ever intrepid FOX News and their highly elite and patriotic staff. Continue Reading

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Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Politics2 Comments

Kudos to Writers for Not Acting Like Stupid Dodo Heads

Kudos to Writers for Not Acting Like Stupid Dodo Heads

The saying goes “There is more than one way to skin a cat.” No, this isn’t a funny story about a cat. I know, I know, for all you cat lovers out there, maybe there will be one soon, but for now, this is not where to look.

Conan O’Brien once said “During last night’s debate…Kerry and Edwards were so friendly, President Bush accused them of planning a gay marriage.” It didn’t happen, of course. Edwards turned out to be even more heterosexual than we’d originally thought, Continue Reading

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Posted in Opinon/Editorial, Top Stories19 Comments

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