Posted in Politics Top Stories

BREAKING NEWS: Canada Announces Plans to Build Southern Border Wall

Ottawa – Today, Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau delivered a landmark speech to the combined chambers of the Canadian Parliament. He announced his plans to erect a 50-foot-tall wall along the entire length of the USA-Canadian border to keep them…

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Posted in Top Stories

Democrats Make Counter Proposal- Build A Wall Around Trump As Well

After weeks of a political game of shutdown the Dems have made a counter proposal that has intrigued many. They offered to pass funding for the wall Trump has demanded on the Mexico border in return for there being a…

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Posted in Music Opinion/Editorial

American Cow Pie

Authors Note: This is a Parody of Don Mclean’s Classic American Pie. I wrote this during the financial crisis at the beginning of the Obama Administration. It’s interesting to look back at how much has changed, and yet, how little…

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Posted in Opinion/Editorial Top Stories

Partisan Significance

The system’s broke, Nobody’s interested in fixing it. What a fucking joke, They’re either sycophants or hypocrites. The vitriol you spoke, Evoked partisan belligerence. Highlighting our differences Driving a wedge in between.

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Posted in Opinion/Editorial

Red Flag Alert! The 5 Idiotic Words That Infallibly PROVE Your Relationship is a Non-Starter!

How many times have you looked back at a failed relationship and realised you just didn’t read the signs of the times? Some people just don’t learn; but I’m hear to tell y’all exactly what you DON’T want to hear….

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Posted in Health Top Stories

Adderall Effectiveness Being Questioned After Recent Revelations

Adderall, the premier pharmaceutical prescribed for treatment of ADHD in many Americans, has recently had its effectiveness called into question. With a long history of providing focus to those who suffer from ADHD, it has historically been thought of as…

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Posted in Celebrity Gossip Television

Judge Judy’s Guide to Life

Hi. My name’s Judge Judy. Welcome to my courtroom. You obviously have seen me on TV telling stupid imbeciles wasting my time to go get a life! I’m here today to teach you all the formula on how to become…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Ann Coulter Grants Trump Permission to Reopen Federal Government… Finally.

Washington, DC- Political pundit, and current Trump Administration Minister of All Things Policy, Ann Coulter, granted President Donald Trump permission to end the federal government shutdown on Thursday, claiming she was bored with the lack of progress achieved after another…

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Posted in Sports Scandals

Utah Jazz Lose Half Their Team: New ‘Magic Underpants’ Rule Remains a Sore Point!

Formerly even less non-renowned basketball team Utah Jazz have recently lost their mojo, with their fanatical new Mormon Fundamentalist leader, Pickney H. Jonestonne, alienating droves of players with his unusual dress code. Although Utah Jazz players under previous managerial regimes…

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Posted in Science

Free the Sprocket: Sex Robots To Have Their Own Sexual Revolution

Unhappy with their sex lives, sex robots are making a buzz in the media. Customers have giving them raving reviews, but the products themselves are the ones suffering. Spearheading their campaign, is the hashtag #SexRobotsToo, created by the Sex Robot…

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Posted in World News

Somewhere In The Kremlin

NOTE FROM WALLACE: Here’ s a great cartoon from rfreed! What would a Kremlin troublemaker do?

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Posted in Music Strange People

Lady Gaga Has Second Thoughts About Her “Do What You Want (With My Body)” Duet With R. Kelly.

Lady Gaga now regrets the song she did together with the popular pervert, proliferator of pubescent pornography and deflowerer of underage girls and perhaps small furry animals R. Kelly. The Ga now says of her 2013 conjugal ditty that ‘Do…

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Posted in Health

Trump Administration Nutrition Lobbyists: “McDonalds Junk Food” is FAKE NEWS!

The Trump administration’s current representatives for infant health, general nutrition and healthy lifestyles have recently come out fighting against an insidious CNN / mainstream media CONSPIRACY against selfless, altruistic, patriotic restaurant companies. The three officials in question, representing KFC, McDonalds…

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Posted in Video News

The Truth About Chicken Nuggets

How are chicken nuggets and hot dogs really made? Travel inside a real, working hot dog factory in this rare, behind-the-scenes footage. Learn about the fillers and chemicals used to keep wieners cheap and delicious. We sent cameras around the…

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Posted in Video News

How Are Cheez-Its Really Made? (Glossy News Video)

Cheez It is one of America’s most favorite snack treats, but do you know how they’re made? We go DEEP inside the factory to uncover all their secrets, and you won’t believe what you see, unless you get how clickbait…

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Posted in Biz News Talky Pictures

Disney Acquires Scientology, Pushes for Billion Year Copyright

In a move surprising several, Disney-ABC Television Group lodged a hostile takeover of Scientology on Monday, acquiring the majority of outstanding shares for $3.6 billion, excluding real estate assets, a 14% premium over Friday closing value. The move affords Disney,…

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Posted in General Interest

10 Steps To Help You Launch A Boat Successfully

Sometimes you might get blocked by another boat on the ramp while trying to launch yours. This can be really annoying. All boaters should learn the common boat etiquette. Most of these rules and etiquette are not laid down anywhere….

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Posted in Serious Commentary

The Golden Age of Antisemitism: Should Revisionist Historians Be Allowed to Deny Medieval Antisemitism?

Not long ago, my alma mater hosted the ‘highly reputable ‘Leeds International Medieval Congress.’ Now, given the utterly parlous state of the humanities in Europe, you might well wonder if this is every bit as bad as it sounds. The…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

Negative Thoughts & Feelings: Win The Game, Reframe!

Last time, I spoke a little about how choosing alternative categories and concepts will help you understand yourself and your place in this world better; by avoiding one-sided, prejudiced and unhealthy views. Don’t sell yourself short! Don’t demand ‘the right…

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Posted in Top Stories

The Fear of Romantic Failure: & How to Rise Above It!

Many of us men, and many women also, struggle with the feeling we have nothing to offer others, and that we are not competitive at all in the marketplace of love and marriage. I believe reframing things is helpful, so…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

Do Gardens Follow the Dao As Well?

I am more patient these days. Most of the time, I am patient with myself and with others. I am in a lot less physical distress, despite big stomach pains still. I am able to take things more day by…

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Posted in Entertainment General Interest

Sharpen Your Pens! Glossy News Wants Your Poems… & Here are a Few Examples to Whet your Appetites!

Glossy News has plenty of room for poetry: serious poetry, yes, but especially satire! Or sometimes even serious (i.e. sober satire). Email the managing editor on wallacerunnymede@gmail.com if you want to contribute. Here are a few ideas to set you…

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Posted in Serious Commentary

Random Thoughts (XV): Scabshamers, Silicon Valley & Silly Brussels Bureaucrats!

Silicon Masks, Black Souls At times of peace, Silicon Valley platforms look, at least partly, like open forums. But don’t look at them during times of normality. Look at them at times of exception. Then the mask slips completely! When…

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Posted in General Interest

Team-Building Activities for the Upcoming Corporate Party

It’s the end of the year 2018, and we are all happy to be hosting and attending Christmas parties. Being an attendee is easy, you only have to show up, have some fun and leave the place. Ask the party…

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Posted in Politics Top Stories

Are all Americans Guilty of Hate Crimes against President Trump?

Dateline: D.C.— Under federal hate crime laws, Special Counsel Robert Mueller has targeted both critics and supporters of President Trump, for “abusing a mentally incompetent old man,” according to a spokesperson for Mr. Mueller’s office. “If you saw a physically…

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