Month: May 2018
Chapter 26: Just-So Stories (Honest Adolph, Volume III)
Presidential nominations, generally speaking, go to those with the biggest mouth, and not the greatest intellect or grandest patriotism. But how far this may be a universal principle is something which, perhaps, remains to be seen.
Book Review: “Ideology: An Introduction” by Terry Eagleton
Anything with ‘introduction’ in the title can easily appear off-putting to the more thoughtful and reflexive reader; promise me you won’t let that happen! This is a very serious and (rather unsurprisingly) an extraordinarily witty romp through the history of…
My Private Workout with Obama
[The following is a 100% partially true story]. People routinely accuse me of telling over-the-top fabricated stories in Glossy News. They make these outrageously unfair accusations just because I may bend the truth a tiny bit occasionally – and by…
Israel Ruins Protesters, Commits to Ruining Own Reputation
On May 5th, the United States officially moved the US embassy from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem, sparking praise from end-of-days zealots, protests from Palestinians, and a volley of bullets and tear gas from Israeli soldiers posted on the border.
London Man Discovers Chin in Phone Box
London street cleaner Tim Hargreaves had a nasty surprise when he discovered a chin in a London phone box. Hargreaves, 57, told Glossy News:
Chapter 25: The Pristine Jade Hall Palace of Eternal Slumber (Honest Adolph, Volume III)
The Halls of Mandos, then. So this is me. Let’s knock this on down, brother, for the health of the world.
London Cafe Manager Prosecuted for Serving Yolkless Eggs
London café manager Jim Fry 62, has been prosecuted for serving his customers the not so widely renowned metropolitan delicacy of yolkless eggs; beloved of elitist intellectuals, union barons, greed Tory yacht botherers and dodgy career politicos of all ideological…
The Pleasure Police Want to Know About the Offenders Against Erotic Bliss
Do you know someone who isn’t getting enough sex? Are your neighbors staying up all night talking, instead of getting down and dirty?
Putin Non-Traditional Musical Parody: I Want KGB! (With Apologies to Queen & Vlad)
Flamboyant 80s bear-wrestler Vladimir Putin once banned the rainbow clown ikon, as the latter is deemed by some web users to represent “the supposed nonstandard sexual orientation of the president of the Russian Federation.” Still, we’re pretty sure Freddy would…
Hey White People! These are Things Y’All Need To Do Better (Another Eva Luxemburg Wokepost, Part 2)
History History? Y’all are so busy trying to work out the ‘facts,’ that you got no time to work out the truth. Priorities, white people! Funny how, when people search for facts, you always end up getting partisan bullshit; while…