Month: May 2015
Google Becomes Main Source Of Knowledge In Universe; God Steps Down
Accumulating a huge mass of knowledge in its 17 years of existence, the Internet giant Google has officially made itself the greatest source of knowledge in the entire universe, surpassing even that of Douglas Adam’s giant planet computer in Hitchhikers…
Fifty Shades of White
When I was first learning how to color in 1st grade, my art teacher taught us about red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, black and white. Pretty much all the colors I’ve needed ever since. Then I got my first…
Top 8 “Thwarted Knight” Excuses (2/2)
Sorry, son. I know I was hard on you (and me?) last time. Still, it’s all downhill from here, don’t worry. 6. You’re twisting my words. OK, so you know words are subject to interpretation. That’s a start. So why…
Top 8 “Thwarted Knight” Excuses (1/2)
Everybody knows it’s REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HARD TO BE A MAN!!! ;( And when you’re part of a tragically oppressed subaltern group like yours, there’s no shortage of excuses for justifying your perfectly noble and laudable addiction to telling women…
9/12/2001 – Part 2 (Conspiracy Theorists Actually Know This)
9/12/2001 – THE DAYS AFTER THE UNTHINKABLE HAPPENED (A serial book excerpt) In Part 1 Flight 93 has accomplished its goal of smashing into the White House, apparently killing President George W. Bush. Secret Service men are now searching for…
Prime Minister Disraeli: 7 Hilariously Cutting Putdowns
1. Civilization and Savage Witticisms Benjamin Disraeli, the English Frankie Boyle, is quite possibly the most aristocratically flamboyant and cutting Prime Minister in UK history. With perfect comic timing, he sliced through the pompous pretensions of his opponents, like a…
“But Immigration is Complex…” Uh-uh, Not so Fast
Coming up to the 2015 General Election, the inflammatory rhetoric of UKIP is a worrying feature of the complex political scene in the UK. It’s always been complex, of course… Well, we have had politicians who have expanded the suffrage…
Brains Donate NFL Players to Science
Chicago, Illinois – As the 2015 NFL draft is set to begin tonight at 8pm (est), the scientific community added to the excitement with a groundbreaking announcement last night that the brains of current and former NFL players, Michael Vick…