Month: April 2015
Khameini Frustrated: Putin Still Friendzoning Ayatollah (2/2)
Unlike Khomeini-ite Fiqh, TULIP-flavor Calvinism, and other scientific and empirically rigorous political discourses, “nice guy” and “friendzoning” are ideological aberrations that are completely detached from reality. Still, that didn’t stop Khameini giving it to us one last time: I mean,…
Khameini Frustrated: Putin Still Friendzoning Ayatollah (1/2)
Some would say that The Enemies Of Our Glorious Nation™ are quarrelsome folk. (Or if not “enemies of America,” at least the enemies of the non-satire news media and of The International Beltway Community). Still, there is such a thing…
New Dog Treat Introduced in Honor of Ghostbusters Reboot
St. Louis, Missouri – As the newest Ghostbusters film comes closer to fruition, more and more companies are releasing products that, in thought, will appeal to the everyday consumer who doubles as a Ghostbusterian. The latest household name to join…
Lincoln Monuments Attacked When Americans Realize He Created Income Tax
Upon reading an article in a national newspaper stating that Abraham Lincoln was the one responsible for starting federal income tax, angered Americans across the country began a hate campaign against all memorabilia of the formerly beloved President. Mobs in…
Exclusive – An Interview With Mrs. Tsarnaev- Mother Of The Boston Bombers
Glossy – Good day, Mrs. Tsarnaev! Thank you for agreeing to do this interview with us. Mrs. Tsarnaev – You should be thankful, you American sensationalist pig. Glossy – Um…. well, that gets things off to a rousing start! As…
LibDems Exclusive Leak: Who’s Next When Cleggy Leaves the Building? (2/2)
Nick Clegg might not have won the election yet, but he still has the chance to be the next Anthony Eden… Or at least David Cameron, at a push.
Welcome to CatMatch.com
Exciting news from Match.com, the world’s largest online match-making service. Since our launch in 1995, our goal has been to help men and women find their perfect someone. To date we have found matches for several million people – and…
LibDems Exclusive Leak: Who’s Next When Cleggy Leaves the Building? (1/2)
Almost forgot the name of that there oul’ party until the objective BBC™ reminded me. As them there boys on Radio Ulster say, “You boys get around, don’t ye?” Not normally a compliment.
Guy Desperate for Job Will Take Anything That Doesn’t Make Him Question Self Worth
Jacob Ericsson is broke and about to be homeless. But he’s looking for work and will accept any offers as long as he’s not “too good” for the job. Ericsson made a plea for any and everyone to e-mail him…
The Ballad of “Old Hillary”
THE BALLAD OF “OLD HILLARY” (sung to “The Battle of New Orleans”) In twenty-fifteen we had a little slip Along with Hillary Clinton on her presidential trip. She wrote a little book but it didn’t sell so well Then we…