Month: February 2015
Tory Candidates: As-Yet-Entirely-Unspeculated Cameron Coup (1/2)
The Objective Media (!) has been slandering Wallace Runnymede for his Miliband/Labour-Leak article “bias.” What a dazzling array of Neo-New-Labour candidates…
Firing Squad, North Korea Satire Movie Both Ready to Shoot (Videos)
There are those who quake in their boots at the thought of upsetting sweaty North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un. We are not among them. Thumbing our noses is the least of what we’re doing. Unlike “The Interview” ours will…
Homo Sapien Pictographs Prove Homosexuality Is Natural
Paleontologists working in Southern France have discovered pictographs they estimate were placed around 10,000 B.C. The primitive drawings depict what appears to be two Neanderthal males copulating. Lead scientist Dr. Lance Hollingsworth said, “I usually don’t get involved in politics,…
How Coke’s New “FairLife” Super Milk is Made (Video)
Milk sales have fallen in recent years, so Coca-Cola has decided to get into the Moo Juice game. We go inside the factory to show you how they improved on perfection. More calcium and protein with less sugar and lactose…
Donald Trump’s Diary Released
“Trump filed the suit against Palm Beach County last week, claiming his history of conflict with Palm Beach International Airport has led officials to spitefully redirect air traffic over his historic Mar-a-Lago estate in south Florida.” – USA Today –…
How to Break Up with Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend on Valentine’s Day
So you want to break up on Valentine’s Day? There isn’t any other day of the year more romantic to break up on than Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day, after all, celebrates St. Valentine, a priest who secretly married lovers in…
Colbert Has Quit, Now Jon Stewart Is Going- Soon We Shall Be Totally Abandoned.
The Apocalypse is close at hand. The signs of the times are showing themselves. I am sure that there is a verse in Revelations that says “…and verily all the good comedians will leave the scene and only darkness shall…
New Study Shows Small Men Prefer Big Trucks
The Size of One’s Vehicle is Directly Proportional to the Size of Genitalia A new study conducted by the National Research Panel has concluded that men who drive large trucks, SUVs, and automobiles have smaller genitalia than men who drive…
Publication of “The Brian Williams Story” Nixed
Excerpts from “The Brian Williams Story”, a rumored biography that will now apparently never see print: November 9, 1989 “All I can say is that it was an honor and a thrill to be the only major American news anchor…
Kanye West is a Breadophile: Horrifying Truth Comes Out at the Grammys
Los Angeles, California – Underfilled baskets, uncooked breadsticks and inappropriate butterings. These were the truths revealed by rapper, Kanye West, this past Sunday at the 57th Annual Grammy Awards in the Staples Center. The man who crashed Taylor Swift’s award…