Homeland Security Warns of “Out-For-Blood” Radical Group Calling Itself “Red Cross”

WASHINGTON — The Department of Homeland Security released a statement yesterday afternoon warning U.S. citizens of recent efforts by a group of homegrown radicals whom officials say are “out-for-blood.” Reports indicate the organization is calling itself Red Cross.

According to sources, the group’s signature act of torture involves draining the blood from humanitarians unfortunate enough to find themselves on a Red Cross “tablé” (pronounced taw-blay or tay-bul), which is a device not unlike the infamous “rack” used in the Spanish Inquisition. Read more Homeland Security Warns of “Out-For-Blood” Radical Group Calling Itself “Red Cross”

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Announcing a new, politically correct name for the Washington Redskins

Lately, all the media attention about the NFL has centered on the issue of domestic abuse. But long before that issue grabbed the headlines, another controversy had been building for months, even years: The often emotional debate over the name of the NFL team located in our nation’s capital: The Washington Redskins.

A tiny fringe group of annoyingly sensitive people, including 35 Native American tribes and more than 50 organizations that represent various groups of Native Americans, seem to think the term “redskin” is an offensive stereotype that stirs images of primitive, angry, bloodthirsty savages screaming menacingly and wishing to annihilate their enemy – in other words, acting like a typical Washington Redskins fan. And they are demanding that billionaire team owner Daniel Marc Snyder change the name to something less offensive – say, the Washington Camel Jockeys. Read more Announcing a new, politically correct name for the Washington Redskins

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