Month: February 2013
Georgia Mans Patience Tried By Household Cleaner
A Georgia man claims that he has been unable to go out in public and plans to sue the makers of popular Kaboom cleaner. He charges that he has been waiting for over 30 days for the quick acting foam…
Russian Meteor Actually a Vintage VW Bus
In an experiment that went horribly awry, a piece of space junk fell out of the sky this week and was mistakenly identified as a meteor. It was confirmed that the object that streaked across a part of Russia, causing…
Cents and Sensibility (Though Neither of Either)
Singles seeking sensibility over sexuality crashed newbie dating site Pension Singles just thirty minutes into its Valentine’s Day launch. Hailed as the middle class man (or woman’s) Millionaires Match, the newbie Internet matchmaker promises quality matches between those who slaved…
Iran Cold War w/ Hello Kitty Heats Up, Doll Beats Ahmedinejad into Space
The bitter, age-old conflict between two great super powers, the government of Iran and the government of cuteness (Hello Kitty), reached its zenith ten days ago as the beloved but brave little doll successfully made its way into the history…
Should Ecstasy Be Legalized? Counterpoint Debate
There are many drugs terrorizing our nation, from low-cost heroine and crack to high-potency crystal meth. One drug equally vilified that gets a bit less attention is Ecstasy, known by its chemical name MDA or MDMA. MDMA was first synthesized…
Have Americans discovered the secret to happiness?
His Excellency, Lyoncho Karma Tobgye, Minister of Happiness in the Kingdom of Bhutan, asked to meet me because of my reputation for telling the truth while avoiding or inventing facts, which is the opposite of most journalists. Here is a…