Posted in Health

How I Successfully Trolled Ali G’s Cousin

A few days ago, for some reason, I was thinking on how to get my revenge on an Autism researcher who knows nothing about his subject and completely eclipses a woman who does, when a really wicked thought came to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! How I Successfully Trolled Ali G’s Cousin
Posted in Crime Strange People

NRA Finds Just the Man for Their Propaganda Ministry

The National Rifle Association, caught like a raccoon in the headlights by the shooting of grade school children, has been awfully quiet since the incident. The shooting puts them in a very negative light since they support the sales of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! NRA Finds Just the Man for Their Propaganda Ministry
Posted in Society Technology

Aztecs Slam “Typical Stupid Mayans” When World Fails to End

Many Aztecs throughout North and Central America rejoiced at the stroke of midnight December 22nd, 2012, as the world failed to end, in accordance with Mayan prophecy. “Those stupid [beeping] Mayans. They’re just wrong about everything,” said Miguel Quattel, an…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Aztecs Slam “Typical Stupid Mayans” When World Fails to End
Posted in Music

An Interview With Philip Glass During the Apocalypse

New York – In the refined New York home of Philip Glass, the great American minimalist pianist, we discussed the finer points of symphonic and chamber music over cheese and 10-year old Merlot wine. Q: When you first began playing…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! An Interview With Philip Glass During the Apocalypse
Posted in Sports Events

So Long, Farewell, Adieu: The End is Coming and it Will Get You Too

Greetings dear Readers! [EDITOR’S NOTE: Due to the advice of what later turned out to be a con artist, this article was not reviewed for publication prior to the end of days deadline. We had been assured that the world…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! So Long, Farewell, Adieu: The End is Coming and it Will Get You Too
Posted in Politics

Fiscal Cliff Progress: Obama, Boehner Agree 16,375,434,000,001 “a Real Number”

As President Barack Obama and House Majority Leader John Boehner continue “fiscal cliff” negotiations, preliminary reports say that despite the inability of the human brain to conceptualize 16 trillion units of anything, both men have agreed to pretend that’s how…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Fiscal Cliff Progress: Obama, Boehner Agree 16,375,434,000,001 “a Real Number”
Posted in Health Strange People

Life on the Inside: My Week in a Mental Hospital

As a contributor to the second-longest running group satire site in the world, I’m always looking for a scoop. So when I had a chance to enter a mental health hospital as a patient recently, I couldn’t pass it up….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Life on the Inside: My Week in a Mental Hospital
Posted in Internets Tubes Strange People

Multimillionaire McAfee Mucks Up Murder Mystery In Middle America

McAfee, is one of the world’s most used internet security websites. It is used to protect the computer user from computer viruses and other threats that can attack his machine while he is online. Also now famous is the web…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Multimillionaire McAfee Mucks Up Murder Mystery In Middle America
Posted in Celebrity Gossip

Who Wore It Best? Apocalypse Edition

MINNEAPOLIS-With the world as we know it coming to a close, it is no surprise that the public eye is turning toward celebrities, scrutinizing their every move amid all of the chaos. Of course, just like poor people, celebrities are…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Who Wore It Best? Apocalypse Edition
Posted in Politics Society

Conservative/Liberal Brawl: Now Is(n’t) the Time for Gun Control

A liberal and a conservative walk into a bar. The bartender’s like, “what is this, a joke?” Actually it’s quite serious, and it covers a grave topic. Conservative columnist and pollster Dean Chambers agreed to talk with liberal news man…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Conservative/Liberal Brawl: Now Is(n’t) the Time for Gun Control
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Boehner and Obama Vow to Fall Off Fiscal Cliff Together

As fiscal cliff negotiations stalled, Republican House Speaker John Boehner and Democratic President Barack Obama romantically declared that they would tumble over the fiscal cliff together “arm in arm”. “I truly love that man”, Boehner said in reference to Obama….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Boehner and Obama Vow to Fall Off Fiscal Cliff Together
Posted in Politics

The Fiscal Cliff: Wingnut v. Moonbat Edition

In order to best understand the troubles that face our nation from a balanced left/right perspective, we’ve enlisted liberal Glossy News satirist and editor Brian K. White from the left to talk with conservative columnist and statistician Dean Chambers from…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The Fiscal Cliff: Wingnut v. Moonbat Edition
Posted in Politics

Michigan Becomes 24th State to Inaugurate ‘Right To Be A Slave’ Law

Michigan has now joined almost half of the country which has introduced legislation that will make it easier for employers to regulate, hire and fire their employees at will. Goosestepping to the current climate which wishes to reduce the power…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Michigan Becomes 24th State to Inaugurate ‘Right To Be A Slave’ Law
Posted in Crime

Fig Newton Controversy Awaits Trial

LOS ANGELES-Forensic investigators (right) search a house for evidence after a reliable source reported that a middle-aged man allegedly consumed an entire Fig Newton and “actually enjoyed it”. The criminal’s name will be kept private for obvious safety reasons and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Fig Newton Controversy Awaits Trial
Posted in Society

Word ‘Belated’ Now Only Used In Birthday Messages

BLOOMINGTON – It was revealed Monday by linguistic professors at Indiana University that the word “belated” – an adjective whose origins can been traced back to the year 1610 – is now only used in birthday messages. The word, which…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Word ‘Belated’ Now Only Used In Birthday Messages
Posted in Strange People

Gunman Breaks Into NRA, Starts Blasting Away With NRA Supported Gun

BREAKING NEWS- A lone gunman stormed the NRA headquarters in Fairfax, Virginia causing bloody mayhem. Managing to gain entrance by flashing his membership card to the guards at the door, the marauder charged in firing indiscriminately in all directions using…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Gunman Breaks Into NRA, Starts Blasting Away With NRA Supported Gun
Posted in Internets Tubes Politics

Interview w/ Dean Chambers from UnSkewedPolls.com – Part II

We recently ran an interview with conservative poll smoker Dean Chambers from UnSkewedPolls.com. It quickly became our top article and my offer to post a second part from questions that were not asked was highly requested. So rather than dig…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Interview w/ Dean Chambers from UnSkewedPolls.com – Part II
Posted in Environment

Unseasonably Warm Weather A Reminder Man Didn’t Recycle Bottles Last Month

INDIANAPOLIS – A recent spate of unseasonably warm weather, which has seen December temperatures peak in the mid sixties, has acted as a timely reminder that local man Dennis Kowalski never got around to recycling those damn bottles last month….

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Unseasonably Warm Weather A Reminder Man Didn’t Recycle Bottles Last Month
Posted in Science & Technologizzy

Inventor’s Shirt Changes Color- Why Not a She-Shirt That Turns Invisible?

A Leeds inventor has come up with a t-shirt that changes color according to how much sun there is. It is supposed to warn the wearer about the possibility of getting skin cancer. E.E.C. Investigators quickly smelled a rat, however,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Inventor’s Shirt Changes Color- Why Not a She-Shirt That Turns Invisible?
Posted in Science

A.D.A. Gaydar Fingers Fluoridation

CHICAGO – The American Dental Association today announced a reversal of its longstanding position on municipal water fluoridation. For over 65 years, fluoride has been recognized by the ADA as an effective prophylactic in the fight against cavities. But recent…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! A.D.A. Gaydar Fingers Fluoridation