Day: December 18, 2012
Fig Newton Controversy Awaits Trial
LOS ANGELES-Forensic investigators (right) search a house for evidence after a reliable source reported that a middle-aged man allegedly consumed an entire Fig Newton and “actually enjoyed it”. The criminal’s name will be kept private for obvious safety reasons and…
Word ‘Belated’ Now Only Used In Birthday Messages
BLOOMINGTON – It was revealed Monday by linguistic professors at Indiana University that the word “belated” – an adjective whose origins can been traced back to the year 1610 – is now only used in birthday messages. The word, which…
Gunman Breaks Into NRA, Starts Blasting Away With NRA Supported Gun
BREAKING NEWS- A lone gunman stormed the NRA headquarters in Fairfax, Virginia causing bloody mayhem. Managing to gain entrance by flashing his membership card to the guards at the door, the marauder charged in firing indiscriminately in all directions using…