Day: October 29, 2012
Fewer Trick-Or-Treaters Than 20 Years Ago, Lament Nation’s Pedophiles
INDIANAPOLIS – Ahead of this year’s Halloween, the nation’s pedophiles lamented Monday the relatively low number of children seen trick-or-treating on the streets in recent years. Recalling a time when groups of young children would freely mobilize between houses in…
Republicans Find God, Win Epic Game of Hide & Seek
Senator Chris Coons’ office has sent out a short brief detailing how the Congressman has finally found God, and put an end to a millennia-long game of hide and seek. Asked to comment about his Earth-shaking discovery, Senator Coons had…
‘He Who Shall Not Be Named’ Creates Stress For Romney Campaigners
There was great tension at the Republican Campaign Headquarters that morning as the worker bees entered their office in D.C. As with every campaign, unexpected situations come up. “’He Who Shall Not Be Named’” wants to endorse Romney.” stated Mitch…
Bargis Tryhol Presidential Election Battle Successful on 50 State Ballots
Miami, Florida- Newbie Presidential candidate Bargis Tryhol, who narrowly missed his 2008 presidential qualification window, is now on every state’s Presidential Ballot and is running as a ‘Do Your Own Thing’ candidate. Tryhol announced today that he has created his…