Richard Murdock’s Senate Campaign in Disarray As God Comes Out Pro Choice

INDIANAPOLIS – The senate campaign of Indiana’s leading Republican candidate, Richard Mourdock, is reportedly in disarray Tuesday after the Almighty Father in Heaven identified himself as pro-choice.

God’s stance on the issue of abortion comes as a particular blow to Mr. Mourdock, who insisted during Tuesday’s senatorial debate that “rape pregnancies are God’s will”.

However, The Lord was moved to clarify his position in light of Mourdock’s remarks Tuesday night, taking the opportunity to rebuke the would-be senator. Read more Richard Murdock’s Senate Campaign in Disarray As God Comes Out Pro Choice

Share

Speaker Boehner Declares War On Women Over, Proposes Removal Of All Rights

In a move that is considered very ballsy for a man who cries every time someone mentions a bar, Congressional Speaker of the House John Boehner declared today that he was officially submitting legislation that would end the so called “War On Women”.

Because issues surrounding women’s health have continually caused problems for the republican party during this election cycle, Speaker Boehner has determined that they can no longer retreat from every idiotic statement made by candidates for office from their party with the same contention that it was taken out of context or it’s meaning twisted. Read more Speaker Boehner Declares War On Women Over, Proposes Removal Of All Rights

Share

I, Rfreed, Hereby Announce My Candidacy For Dictator Of The United States

I, rfreed, hereby announce my candidacy for Dictator of the United States of America. I realize that this is a little late in the campaign season to be announcing this, but dictators don’t worry about such things. We know that as dictators, we can manipulate things in our favor.

In this case I have wisely waited until the other two candidates have successfully eliminated all others in their party to be the front runner, then waited for them to spend most of their campaign money and exhausting each other in political battle before jumping in the fray myself. I also waited until the debates were over because they would have creamed my butt. Read more I, Rfreed, Hereby Announce My Candidacy For Dictator Of The United States

Share