Romney to Sway Female Voters by Showing Compassion, Penis

Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney today unveiled his new plan to persuade female voters to back his bid for the White House by showing them two things that have thus far remained firmly hidden: his compassionate, caring side and his vintage 1947 sexual organ.

He is hoping this strategy will win over voters who have so far been put off by policies that have been deemed as cold and uncaring, as well as those that will “get their kicks” from seeing photographic evidence of Romney’s “schlong”. Read more Romney to Sway Female Voters by Showing Compassion, Penis

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Company that “Downloads the Internet to Your Phone” Shuttered

Little known software maker, Webaroo, has recently shuttered its operations. The founders, pictured to the right, in the traditional robes of psychedelic priests, have reportedly spent all of the $7.5 million dollars of funding they received on obscure research chemicals, prostitutes, and expensive ski jets, and have now started a new company, under the moniker “Gupshup,” which has secured $10 million in new funding. Read more Company that “Downloads the Internet to Your Phone” Shuttered

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Senator Joe Manchin has Existential Crisis after Reading Facebook Comment

Facebook vigilante, Bobby D. Foster’s has struck yet another Senator.

The unprovoked Facebook comment reads as follows:

Dear Senator Manchin,

I just wanted to inform you that I am quite disappointed that your chin is not as manly as you name suggests. Have a nice day.

-BDF

The actual comment can be found here on Facebook. Read more Senator Joe Manchin has Existential Crisis after Reading Facebook Comment

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