Paul Ryan Files Lawsuit Against Martha Raddatz

Immediately following the vice-presidential debate on Thursday evening, the Ryan half of the Romney/Ryan ticket filed a law suit against Martha Raddatz.

An agreement had been reached prior to the debate that Congressman Paul Ryan would be referred to as Mister Ryan.

From the very opening of the debate, the alleged non-partisan moderator, continually referred to Congressman Ryan, well, as Congressman Ryan. Read more Paul Ryan Files Lawsuit Against Martha Raddatz

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Catholic Church To Endorse Masturbation By Males Only

The Catholic church is preparing to make a major announcement concerning changes to their view on sexual behavior.

After years of frowning upon, and causing many young Catholics to experience immense guilt, they are now ready to endorse masturbation for their male followers.

It unfortunately still won’t be an option for the females and this is due to the internal discussions that have been held over the last few months related to the change. Read more Catholic Church To Endorse Masturbation By Males Only

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911 Call Blamed on Noxious Farts

A father is said to be responsible for a call out to the emergency services following a fart that was mistakenly thought to be a noxious gas leak.

Father of two, Eric Wilson, is thought to have farted in his living room around 7:35pm after the family’s evening meal. The smell registered with the rest of the family within a matter of seconds leading to Mrs Wilson to squeal “Oh. My. God. What is that smell?”. Read more 911 Call Blamed on Noxious Farts

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Mitch McConnell’s Public Jobs Program Puts on Happy Face

In a stunning about face on public sector financed job programs, the minority leader of the senate, Republican Mitch McConnell, offered a new program that he believes can be started following the eviction of the Obama family in January 2013.

The program is designed to put more private sector contractors to work within the Washington, DC area and to also help local small retailers prosper. Because he will list this program as an “emergency measure”, equal opportunity rules can also be suspended allowing RNC donors their first chance at a federal project. Read more Mitch McConnell’s Public Jobs Program Puts on Happy Face

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Prison Medical Request Denied by Sandusky Judge During Sentencing

Harrisburg, PA – (SatireWorld.com)

Judge Marvin Hayes denied an anal plug request for recently convicted child molester Jerry Sandusky submitted by his defense team upon sentencing this week.

Sandusky’s recent conviction of 45 counts of serial child molestation and subsequent sentencing requires him to spend the rest of his life behind bars in a maxiumum security prison. Read more Prison Medical Request Denied by Sandusky Judge During Sentencing

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Crocodile Eats 75 Villagers in Remote Kenyan Park

Bwanna, Kenya – (SatireWorld.com)

Game preserve officers tracked down and killed a 45 foot long crocodile today after it was seen leaving a village it decimated during an evening celebration. The reptile is being reported as the ‘world’s largest crocodile.’

First reports claimed upwards of 50 native villagers were eaten, but game warden Benji Wonamoto said the final body count was 75 and maybe more. Read more Crocodile Eats 75 Villagers in Remote Kenyan Park

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