Month: September 2012
Beware of the Partisanship Disease
Partisanship is not a figurative expression, but quite real. It is, in fact, an actual chronic disease. If you know someone who has come down with the conservative or liberal version of this infection, take heart: there is a cure!…
Andrew Luck Relishing Challenge of Outgrowing the Colts
INDIANAPOLIS – Speaking ahead of Sunday’s game against the Jacksonville Jaguars, prospective new quarterback Andrew Luck insisted he is really enjoying the challenge of following in the footsteps of Peyton Manning and to one day outgrow The Indianapolis Colts. Saying…
Romney’s Tax Records Show He’s Working for President Obama
WASHINTON D.C.- The Romeny campaign had contested showing Mitt’s 2011 returns for so long, and once released, every one understood why. Mitt Romney had been on the Obama campaign’s payroll for quite some time. “Mitt did a really good job…
Romney’s Economic Plan Is Right Direction For America, According to Apple Maps
Cupertino, CA – Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s plan for restoring the U.S. economy will lead to a new era of high employment and prosperity for the nation, according to Apple’s new iOS 6 based Maps app. By entering Mr….
GlossyNews Finds Man Who’s Never Heard of Obama or Romney
(GlossyNews) — Deep in the swamps of Louisiana, reporters for GlossyNews have discovered a man who has never heard of either presidential candidate. He is believed to be the last of his kind. Inviting the curious journalists inside his spacious…
Angsty Northern Indiana ‘Wishes It Could Be As Pretty As The South’
FORT WAYNE, IN – In an apparent emotional outburst Saturday, the angsty northern half of Indiana lamented that it “was no way near as pretty as The South.” Assessing its many unsightly industrial towns, The North admitted it was jealous…
Republican strategy to overcome roll-down airplane windows
It may have been my old AMC Rambler1 but it was the chance of a lifetime when Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney gave me an exclusive press pass to last weekend’s Republican National Committee strategy session. Here is how it…
Honey Boo Boo Plans Comeback For 2046
7-year-old Alana “Honey Boo Boo” Thompson says she plans to burn out soon as a child star but has already planned her ‘comeback’ for the year 2046 when she is 41 years old. “Sure, I’m a fat child star now…
Women, Help End Discrimination Against Men … by Getting Struck by Lightning
I am a staunch advocate of women’s rights to equal treatment and nearly equal pay. I’ve even watched Oprah and Ellen on occasion. But please don’t tell my golfing buddies. They would never understand. There is no denying that women…
Replacement Refs Replace Rules of Football
NEW YORK- Replacement referees, locked out referees, and team owners sat down on Monday to discuss disagreements that have arose over the first three weeks of the season. Sunday’s schedule was an outstanding example of just how creative the liberties…